LINUS FERNANDES

Roger Federer: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

Roger Federer Pushes Stan The Man’s ‘Buttons’

What he said:

If Stan wants me to do some push-ups to pump him up, I’ll do that, if he wants me to sleep on the floor of his bed[room] I’ll do that, to keep him warm as we’re both missing our children and stuff, so whatever he wants me to do I’m relaxed at this point. I’ll be here tomorrow of course – except if he doesn’t want me.

Roger Federer was ready to do almost anything to help his Davis Cup teammate, Stanislas Wawrinka, clinch his tie against Lleyton Hewitt. Wawrinka needed just six points to win his five setter on Monday, 19th September, 2011. Switzerland beat Australia in Australia—the final score read 3-2.

What he really meant:

“No Mirka, no kids, just us guys. It ought to have been an enjoyable guys outing Down Under but  we’re home buddies now.Stan, let’s get back home—pronto.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“Stan and I are gonna yodel into the night and read out aloud our kids’ favourite bedtime tale ‘Heidi’.”

Shashank Manohar: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

Shashank Manohar is Reclusively Recused

What he said:

“I wanted to give Modi no ground for complaint.”

Ex-BCCI President, Shashank Manohar, elaborates on why he recused himself from the disciplinary committee looking into alleged misdemeanours and violations by ex-IPL commissioner, Lalit Modi.

Manohar—a lawyer by profession—said:

The truth is he called me sometime in early May 2010, and told me that he would be making an allegation (questioning my neutrality) against me in the media. He said, ‘The truth is only known to you and me and I know that as per your nature you will not speak to the media.’ He also told me that Srinivasan was also involved in a few wrongdoings. I told Modi to point those out and assured him of action against Srinivasan too if he was indeed involved. He never got back.

What Shashank Manohar really meant:

“Lalit Modi made his point. Ipso facto, I recused myself.”

What Shashank Manohar definitely didn’t:

“Cleaning the BCCI’s Augean stables is right up my alley.”

DJ Jenny D: What she said, really meant and definitely did not

DJ Jenny D Is Provocatively Dissociative

What she said:

“Sensible people wouldn’t associate me with Poonam Pandey.”

Mumbai-based DJ Jenny will go nude to raise funds for the Indian national hockey team. Her decision comes in the wake of the uproar against a meagre Rs. 25,000 offered to the winners of Asian Champions Trophy. The Indian team beat Pakistan in the final to clinch the inaugural edition.

Jenny said:

There were stories of our hockey players not being able to afford the right footwear before the final. The measly prize money was only adding insult to injury. Compare this to the way cricketers are treated. The injustice is there for all to see. It’s a matter of serious concern.

A couple of portals have already approached me to buy the images. There’s also an international men’s magazine that has offered to pay me Rs 10 lakh for a nude cover shoot that would have just three hockey sticks in the frame.

Jenny is aware that her mode of raising funds will draw critics like flies to uncovered jam:

There are bound to be critics but when you come across injustice, you shouldn’t consider detractors. People in India don’t want to get out of that traditional shell. They forget we are in the 21st century.

Jenny D previously posed near-nude for a print campaign demanding reservation for women in the education and employment sectors.

What DJ Jenny really meant:

"Poonam Pandey’s a cricket-crazy publicity hound. I’m a hockey sophisticate."

“The hockey team (and I) really need the attendant publicity. At least, that’s my argument.”

What DJ Jenny definitely didn’t:

“Let’s title the campaign ‘Sense, Sensibility and Hockey’”

Rajpal Singh: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

Rajpal Singh Is Victoriously Disgruntled

What he said:

“Hockey players do not have shoes to wear.”

Indian hockey team skipper, Rajpal Singh, is justifiably bitter about the treatment meted out to hockey players and other sportsmen. The proud Sikh was speaking to Gaurav Kanthwal of the Times Of India (TOI)  News Network following the recent fiasco wherein returning triumphant players  were offered a piddly reward of Rs. 25,000 each for bringing home the inaugural Asian Champions Trophy.

In an earlier interview, the Indian captain slammed the revised prize money of Rs. 1.5 lakhs saying:

It was total injustice. It’s not just about 18 to 20 players who go play hockey, it’s about national pride, and they should have at least treated us well. Unless they encourage and motivate players, how can we promote the game? It’s very disappointing. We ought to have been rewarded well… It was wrong and this is not the way to treat the national players. Such incentives will not only demotivate us.

Field hockey is the national sport of India.

Rajpal said:

Jab sponsorship ki baat hoti hain toh players ko pata hi nahi chalta hain ki kya ho raha hain. (When it comes to sponsorship, the players are  clueless as to what’s happening.) Even when we travel abroad the sports authority of India spends and takes care of us. We wear sponsor shirts but, pata nahi kyun. Kuch nahi milta woh shirt pehenkar. (Nothing comes of wearing the sponsor’s shirt). Every player in the team’s upset.

Rajpal added that the Indian hockey skipper is hardly recognised as compared to his cricketing counterpart, MS Dhoni:

Agar hum cricket ko compare kare,BCCI ko hatake aur government ki baat kare toh cricket ko bhi utna hi izzat deti jitna hockey ko. (The government should give equal importance to hockey). But when they won the World Cup, then every state government facilitated (sic) their captain. Main apni baat nahi kah raha hoon, lekin hockey team ke captain ko kabhi bhi Dhoni ki tarah dekha nahi jaata hain. (I am not referring to myself but no hockey captain is adulated like Dhoni).

What Rajpal really meant:

“Rs, 25,000 can buy no more than two pairs of decent sports shoes. There are no real sponsors.”

“I wish the BCCI were running Indian hockey. They’d monetise everything.”

“We’re playing hockey, not hooky.”

What Rajpal definitely didn’t:

“It kind of reminds me of the glorious Indian past when our predecessors played barefoot.”

David Lloyd: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

David Lloyd Shaves No Corners

What he said:

“I took my dog for a clipping this morning. She flipping hates it even though it costs three times as much as my £8 cut at Mr Trimm’s.”

David Lloyd aka Bumble is flipper than ever taking his pet out for a trim.

What he really meant:

“I can walk the dog, talk the dog but chop her? Mighty expensive.”

“A haircut (for her) is a flea in my bonnet.”

“My bitch is high maintenance.”

What he definitely didn’t :

“I think I’ll start cutting my hair myself.”

Amir Khan: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

Amir Khan wants to box a ‘Chicken’

What he said:

In my opinion, Mayweather is a chicken. He is doing everything to avoid me just as he did everything to avoid fighting Manny Pacquiao. I don’t want to sound cocky or arrogant but I believe the real reason for Mayweather avoiding me is that he knows I have his number. Mayweather knows if he ever fights me his ‘zero’ will go.

Amir Khan is spoiling for a fight with Floyd Mayweather Jr. The unified WBA and IBF world champion would like to end Mayweather’s streak of 39 unbeaten bouts.

What he really meant:

“I’m merely upholding the long-held tradition of trash-talking my opponent before a match-up.It makes for great  copy in the press.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“Run, chicken, run.”

Cristiano Ronaldo: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

Cristiano Ronaldo Has It All

What he said:

"I think that because I am rich, handsome and a great player people are envious of me. I don’t have any other explanation."

Cristiano Ronaldo is a narcissist. The Portuguese striker reacts to being booed by Dinamo fans at Zagreb. Real Madrid triumphed 1-0.

What he really meant:

“Don’t Messi with me.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“Modesty’s my middle name.”

Pep Guardiola: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

Pep Guardiola Needs Stronger, Quicker Legs

What he said:

"Not even Usain Bolt would have been able to stop him.I’d like my team to have legs with so much running in them."

Barca manager, Pep Guardiola, does not blame his side for allowing AC Milan’s Alexandre Pato’s fifth-quickest goal in the Champions League—in all of 24 seconds.

What he really meant:

“A real pity Pato’s goal did not meet the same fate that Bolt’s 100 meters run at the World championships did.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“What if I picked the Jamaican relay squad as defenders? Would that have worked?”

Caroline Wozniacki: What she said, really meant and definitely did not

Caroline Wozniacki Is Not Amused By ‘Wham-Bam’ Serena

What she said:

“Well, you know, it’s kind of like, okay, you feel like you’re in the game, you’re in the game, and then bam, bam, you’re not in the game anymore.”

Caroline Wozniacki makes her excuses for her semifinal defeat against Serena Williams at the US Open.

What she really meant:

“I was outgunned by Serena.Bang, bang, you’re dead.”

What she definitely didn’t:

“That’s what I term a ‘loaded’ statement.”

Graeme Swann: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

Graeme Swann Is No ‘BullDog’

What he said:

“I can’t make speeches like Churchill and I’ll try to be as natural as I can.”

Graeme Swann—the comedian—takes over from Stuart Board as skipper of the English T20 squad for two matches against West Indies next week.

Swann claimed:

It’s a Twenty20 series with a lot of young lads so I’ll have to change the way I am from the Test side.

I’m very much the joker in the Test team, I’m there for a stupid quip at the end of the session. With this Twenty20 side, I’ll naturally have to be more grown up and mature about things.

But I don’t intend to be deadly serious and change too much. I believe a fairly high-spirited approach has made me the cricketer I am.

I’ll certainly look to keep that going within my own game and, if that’s infectious to others, then great.

What Swann really meant:

“I have games to win, not speeches to make.”

What Swann definitely didn’t:

“I’ll just get the Windians to fall over—laughing their guts out.”