LINUS FERNANDES

Andrea Petkovic: What she said, really meant and definitely did not

What she said:

“If this was a hurricane, then I basically live in a constant tornado in Griesheim, Germany, where I live.”

Andrea Petkovic blogs that Hurricane Irene that hit New York city on Aug 28, 2011—the eve of the US Open— was a mere squall in comparison to the weather in her home town.

What she really meant:

“Much ado about nothing, in particular. Our matches haven’t been rescheduled, so it’s no big deal.”

What she definitely didn’t:

“I need lessons in English grammar, so that I don’t repeat the same word twice or more in a single sentence.”

Maria Sharapova:What she said, really meant and definitely did not

What she said:

“I’m terrible at other sports. I don’t even try.”

Maria Sharapova confesses that she’s not gifted—she’s a specialist and a success in tennis alone.

What she really meant:

“I love to win and since I can’t excel at other sports, I don’t even try. That reminds me, that I haven’t been winning that much in tennis either.”

What she definitely didn’t:

“It doesn’t mean that I don’t watch other sports. Sasha catches mine, I catch his (basketball).”

Otto, the German Shepherd, analyses the US Open men’s draw

My dog, Otto the German Shepherd, is a tennis nut.

“You haven’t analysed the men’s draw for the US Open. Today’s the 27th and the tournament begins on the 29th.” pestered Otto.

“I know. I’ve just been a little wrapped up in other things.” I reply, tiredly.

“But you have to do the men’s draw. That’s like manna for tennis followers.” insists Otto.

“Oh, I’m sure, they are multiple draw analyses floating around the internet. The smart ones can visit USOpen.org and figure it out themselves.” I attempt to fob off my companion.

“But that’s not the point, is it? It’s good for you too. You can’t follow the US Open without delving into the draw. It’s like going into a dark night without a torch.” Otto is a member of the local debate club.

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Shivraj Singh Chouhan: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

What he said:

"In my view, Sachin Tendulkar should not play in IPL if his name is being considered for Bharat Ratna."

Madhya Pradesh (MP) Chief Minister (CM), Shivraj Singh Chouhan, believes that Sachin Tendulkar should “deservedly” receive the Bharat Ratna if the rules are changed to accommodate sportspersons.

This remark was made following demands from the hockey fraternity that if a sportsman is to receive the award, first-in-line should be Olympian legend, Major Dhyanchand.

The MP CM added:

“When players like Sachin Tendulkar are sold and bought, it really hurts. A player plays for the country and not for companies.”

What he really meant:

“The Bharat Ratna is the foremost honour the country can bestow upon its citizens. It should not be trivialised. It cannot be auctioned nor is it for sale.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“More free publicity for my party and me. Thank you, Sachin. Thank you, Dhyanchand.”

Ricky Ponting: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

What he said:

“If you were averaging 35 when I was playing your dad would go and buy you a basketball or a footy and tell you to play that.”

Ricky Ponting illustrates that the standards of Australian cricket have dropped in recent times with an apocryphal anecdote.

What he really meant:

“If you’re not averaging 40+ in Shield cricket, then you might as well pack it in.”

“Hmm, I wonder what I would have aggregated if we were playing T20 then.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“Now that explains why Australian rules football is more popular than cricket. ”

Maria Sharapova and Novak Djokovic: Head promos

India to boycott the London Olympics over Dow Chemicals’ ‘fabric’?

While Indian newspapers’ front pages and TV channels  feed off Anna Hazare’s crusade against corruption, the sports sections are chockfull of analysis, recriminations and reactions to Team India’s pitiful surrender of their No.1 Test ranking to England.

The headliners above have buried another burning issue: The unpalatable association of Dow Chemicals with the London Olympics.

Dow’s Performance Plastics Division will deliver a “fabric wrap” for the main stadium made of “sustainable” resins.

London Olympics chief,Sir Sebastian Coe, described the “wrap” provided by Dow Chemicals as “the icing on the cake”.

He said:

“"The stadium will look spectacular at Games time and having the wrap is the icing on the cake. I’m delighted that Dow as one of the newer worldwide partners of the Olympic movement will be providing it and importantly doing it in a sustainable way."

The announcement provoked outrage in India.

Q & A With Rahul Dravid (Humour)

Rahul Dravid had a few words with MakeTimeForSports after the 4th Test Match at the Kennington Oval.

1) Should you be labelled the “Great  Wall Of India” instead?

I’m not sure I like that. I’m not crumbly, either.

2) What would you have, three tons or three Indian wins?

What a question! The wins, naturally. The tons, too—given a choice.

3) What’s with Rahul Dravid and England—a perpetual love story?

Sunshine does follow me to England, doesn’t it?

4) Retiring from ODIs was…

Overdue. Like Tendulkar’s 100th hundred.

5) Next stop, after retirement?

Another partnership with Dada (Saurav Ganguly), this time in the commentary box… What else?

Disclaimer: The interview is fictional but the character(s) are real.

Michael Holding: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

What he said:

“We wanted to beat everyone and whether they were white, black, green, pink, Australian, English, Pakistani – we just wanted to beat them.”

Former West Indian fast bowling great, Michael Holding, does not agree with the portrayal of the West Indian side of the 70s and 80s in the documentary, “Fire in Babylon”.

Holding said:

“It is very powerful, very political.I can’t say I’m 100 per cent with the final product to be honest, because I think the race thing was overplayed a little bit.”

He added:

“Some of the interviews they did with some of the Caribbean personalities didn’t really reflect how we as cricketers thought, but perhaps we are the sidelines.”

“At no time that I played in that team did I ever get the impression from anybody that we were playing against these people because they were former colonisers, I didn’t get that impression.”

“We were just playing cricket.”

What he really meant:

“We just wanted to be the best side in the world and play our best cricket. If we had to knock heads over, so be it.Race, colour and creed mattered little. We were secular—in that respect.”

What he definitely didn’t say:

“We loved having opposing batsmen turn all shades while facing us. Green (sick), white (fear) and red or purple(bruised).”

Mahendra Singh Dhoni: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

What he said:

“In principle, I’m okay with the brain mapping, but not if needles are poked everywhere.”

Mahendra Singh Dhoni is fine with IIM, Ranchi, mapping his cricketing brain to decipher the ‘reasons’ behind Team India’s World Cup triumph.

What he really meant:

“The mapping should be painless. What if they poke the wrong nerve?”

What he definitely didn’t:

“After succumbing to  pressure (India lost it’s World No.1 ranking)  and suffering a fractured ego, do you really think I want to submit myself to acupressure or acupuncture, in whatever guise?”