LINUS FERNANDES

Brad Gilbert: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

What he said:

“He hasn’t lost a stitch of hair. He plays young."

Brad Gilbert is astounded how Federer keeps on playing the game with the zest and zeal of a much younger man.

What he really meant:

“He’s got all his hair, he’s not been injured much and he has 16 majors. You say he’s old?”

What he definitely didn’t:

“The more hairy or hirsute you are, the better the player you’ll be.”

Mahendra Singh Dhoni: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

What he said:

"Look at them, some day one of them will just collapse."

Mahendra Singh Dhoni is not enamoured about the amount of cricket his team has played in recent times.

What he really meant:

“My players are tired and jaded. Isn’t that evident?”

What he definitely didn’t:

“Team India are pushovers—literally.”

Alan Butcher: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

“Zimbabweans pride themselves on being hospitable. So even in this match, we keep throwing them a lifeline.”

Zimbabwean coach, Alan Butcher, throws up an innovative excuse for letting their opponents, Bangladesh, off the hook in the Test at Harare.

What he really meant:

“We do want the Bangladeshis returning for more. They’re  the only team we can beat regularly.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“We take pride in losing matches at home.”

Otto the German Shepherd puzzles over the US Open

My dog, Otto the German Shepherd, is nonplussed.

“Who do you think will win the men’s US Open title this year?”, he barks at me.

I am none-too-pleased at being drawn from my morning cuppa while catching up on the funnies in the paper.

“Why do you want to know?” I growl back.

“I need to know because I need to know.” replies Otto.

“Your guess is as good as mine.” I respond.

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Maria Kirilenko: What she said, really meant and definitely did not

What she said:

"I didn’t catch the bouquet. All the girls tried to catch it but Dushevina came out from somewhere and stole it from me! I said okay, whatever."

Maria Kirilenko is none-too-perturbed about missing out on the bouquet at the wedding of her friend, Elena Dementieva. Dementieva married NHL star, Maxim Afinogenov, on the 16th of July, 2011 in Moscow.

What she really meant:

“All that practice catching tennis balls from ballboys (and ballgirls) came to naught. You see, there’s no mad scramble for those, on-court.”

What she definitely didn’t:

“’Okay, whatever’ wins me tennis matches.”

Caroline Wozniacki: What she said, really meant and definitely did not

What she said:

"I’d like to be an actress. Could you see me as a Bond girl? You know I live in Monaco, right?"

Caroline Wozniacki would love to be an actress if she were not the No.1 tennis player in the world.

What she really meant:

“I’ve already got the right address for a Bond girl. Is there anything else I need (to be one)?”

What she definitely didn’t:

“Rory McIlroy would make a great James Bond.”

Parthiv Patel: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

What he said:

“Whenever I close my eyes and seek inspiration during trying times, I see only Tendulkar!"

Parthiv Patel, who made his Test debut at 17, has just one idol—Indian icon, Sachin Tendulkar.

What he really meant:

“Inspiration—thy name is Sachin Tendulkar.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“Eyes wide shut, I have T20 vision—visions of Tendulkar.”

Sunil Gavaskar: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

What he said:

“It looked like a contest between a professional team and a schoolboys team.”

Sunil Gavaskar is scathing in his criticism of the Indian team’s performance against a superior English side.

What he really meant:

“It’s no wonder warm-up games feature second string players (Northamptonshire).”

What he definitely didn’t:

“Isn’t this remark pithier than Boycott’s ‘India played like Bangladesh’?”

Kapil Dev: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

What he said:

“Why should they speak out against the board? Will a Congress leader speak against his party in Parliament?”

Kapil Dev makes his opinion known as to whether Sunil Gavaskar and Ravi Shastri can be unbiased with their statements in the press box while being simultaneously indentured to the BCCI and providing expert views for Sky Sports.

What he really meant:

“The BCCI functions like a (Indian) political party. Either you toe the party line or you’re out.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“Are there any vacant slots for me, in that box?”

Sunil Gavaskar: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

What he said:

“But they have got to remember that achievers, like them, also have two eyes, two hands—and a stomach (to feed)!”

Sunil Gavaskar is unconvinced that his contract with the BCCI as a paid commentator conflicts with his role as an expert for Sky Sports. Ravi Shastri is the other ex-cricketer hired by the Indian administrative body, each paid Rs. 3.6 crores annually. The master opener defends his position saying that there are conflicts in every sphere of life.

What he really meant:

“Hey, if the BCCI and Sky Sports don’t care, why should you? Lump it or leave it.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“I’m not paid by either party.”