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Zlatan Ibrahimović: What he said, really meant and definitely didn’t
Zlatan Ibrahimović thrashes trash talk at his 33rd birthday bash.
What he said:
“Let’s go back 15 years and all I saw then has come true. Everybody who was trash-talking me? Now they are eating their words. This is my real trophy.”
Swedish striker and captain of the national side, Zlatan Ibrahimović, lets loose a fusillade of criticism at his many critics while blowing out the candles on his birthday cake.
He said:
“So how did this punk from Rosengard get all the way to where I am now? Nobody believed I could do it. Everybody was trash‑talking. They thought I will go away because I have a big mouth. They thought this guy’s vision is crazy. It will not happen. But I had these dreams of where I would end up. And now here I am.”
On criticism driving him forward:
“Yeah, yeah. That’s my hunger. If I start to relax and I lose that then I had better stop my football. I need that hunger. I still feel I need to do things 10 times better than other players. Just to be accepted and to improve myself.”
On a documentary ‘From Rosengard With More Than One Goal‘ charting his meteoric rise from oblivion:
“It was emotional and the documentary took six months. I’m used to having a camera in my face but not a camera following me. When I did the book [the layered, cocky, poignant and very funny I Am Zlatan Ibrahimovic] one guy followed me. This time it’s a camera crew. But I did it because I want to show everyone how my life is different from the inside and how I went all the way from Rosengard to the national team record. It’s also personal. You get to know my father.”
On being different:
“If you are different, or you have minimum possibilities, you can still succeed. I am living proof of that. I didn’t have that ‘wow’ life. I was not a ‘wow’ person. Those around me were not ‘wow’ people. I didn’t live in a ‘wow’ area. So my message to those who feel different, or unlucky, is that if you believe in yourself you will also make it. There is always a possibility. Everything depends on you.”
On the four goals he scored against England in November 2012:
“If you don’t score against the English teams you are not good enough. It’s always been like that. Whenever I played against the English I didn’t score. So they said I am not good enough. Next game, same thing. Oh, see, he’s not good enough. But this triggers me. This gives me adrenalin. People think they might break me but I am the opposite. I get more anger to demonstrate who I am.
I take risks in the way I play so sometimes it doesn’t look ‘wow’. But then came England. They were saying the same thing about me but I just said it will be fantastic – the first match in our new stadium. The first goal came and I was happy. When the second came I was crazy. And when the third went in I looked around. ‘OK, what will you say now?’ With the fourth, the bicycle kick, I thought: ‘That’s it. I don’t know what more I can do.’ Even if you live in England I have to say it gave me an extra-special feeling.”
On fatherhood and discipline:
“They would be totally punished (if they stole a bike, like he did when he was a kid). Yes, I did it but I was not controlled. We were on our own but it’s not the right way to act.
For me, now, discipline and respect is everything. Once they are 18 my boys can do what they want. But until then they are under my roof and it’s my rules. I want to be their father even as they begin to understand who Ibrahimovic is. You know? Zlatan. It’s not a picture I want them to have of me. Even when they joke and call me Zlatan I don’t like it. They must call me Pappa. For me that’s very sensible.
I don’t want them to see their father like my supporters see me. Wherever I go people recognise me. They want a picture of me. But at home I want to be Pappa. I don’t want to be Zlatan. When I go out I represent my club and myself, Zlatan Ibrahimovic, but at home I’m 100% a family person.”
What he really meant:
“I’m 33. I’m a footballing legend. It’s been a journey, a wonderful one. My critics? They can eat their hats while I feast on my birthday cake.”
What he definitely didn’t:
“I have a thick skin. ‘Stoicism‘ is my middle name.”
Kevin Pietersen: What he said, really meant and definitely didn’t
Kevin Pietersen promises to shoot from the hip in his autobiography, ‘KP: The Autobiography‘.
What he said:
Kevin Pietersen was the scapegoat for the Ashes debacle Down Under. Is that still news?
It is when you are promoting your version of events in your ghost-written biography. Hagiography, perhaps?
Pietersen publicized his to-be-released book with a series of one-on-one interviews beginning with the Daily Telegraph.
What he really meant:
“I was not the only non-performer on the Ashes tour. But I was the one with a history of run-ins with the authorities in the past. It was a convenient excuse for them and they went to town with it.”
What he definitely didn’t:
“Am I the GOAT or what?”
Ian Chappell: What he said, really meant and definitely didn’t
Ian Chappell can walk, chew gum, gorge on spicy dishes and dispatch spin bowlers with appropriate disdain.
What he said:
“If you can walk and chew gum at the same time, then you can eat spicy food and also play spin bowling. The trick is to acquire a taste for the former and be taught the latter correctly at a young age.”
Former Australia skipper Ian Chappell is not convinced by Justin Langer’s specious explanation that playing spin is like eating chilli. One has to develop an appetite for it at an impressionable age to relish it.
Chappell writes:
“I acquired a taste for spicy food at 19 but learned to play spin bowling from about eight. I retain my enjoyment of spicy food to this day and those lessons I was taught as a youngster stood me in good stead as my career progressed, culminating in a few months at finishing school – a tour of India.
To me, it is at a young age that the real problem lies with modern Australian batsmen, and it is here that the roots of their disconnect with playing good spin bowling lie: the coaches overlook the correct footwork fundamentals.
The first things I was told about playing spin bowling were among the most important:
1) Don’t worry about the wicketkeeper when you leave your crease, because if you do it means you are thinking about missing the ball.
2) You might as well be stumped by three yards rather than three inches.
To make a real difference to a spin bowler’s length you have to advance a decent distance, and coming out of your crease only a little generally improves the delivery.”
He added:
“Playing spin bowling well is a state of mind. To succeed, a batsman has to be decisive, look to dominate, have a plan and not fear the turning delivery. Once I learned on the 1969 tour of India that because of the slower nature of the pitches you had a fraction more time than you first thought, and that when the ball turned a long way it provided opportunities for the batsman as well as the bowler, I never again worried about prodigious spin. I was often dismissed but I never again feared the turning ball; I looked upon it as a challenge to be enjoyed.”
What he really meant:
“Eating spicy food requires mouth-work and ability to roll one’s tongue. Playing spin bowling requires footwork and a sharp eye. You can do both because they exercise different body parts. Now, did you get my analogy?”
What he definitely didn’t:
“Spicy chewing gum, anyone?”
PR Sreejesh: What he said, really meant and definitely didn’t
PR Sreejesh does a ‘Psy’ act under the bar.
What he said:
“So yeah, you can term my performance in the final as my `Gangnam act under the bar’.”
Indian hockey goalkeeper and member of the victorious Asian Games squad, PR Sreejesh, is happy with his ‘dance moves‘ during the penalty shootout against Pakistan in the final. The goalie foiled two out of four attempts by their sub-continental arch-rivals.
Sreejesh is a huge fan of the Korean pop star Psy specifically his hit number ‘Gangnam Style‘. The Korean singer-dancer performed at the opening ceremony of the Incheon Games.
Sreejesh said:
“I like music and love to dance as well. Whenever I travel to practice, I listen to music and this time in Korea I was listening to Psy. I was happy to meet him during the opening ceremony and was inspired by him.”
On playing Pakistan twice:
“We didn’t play well against them in the group stage. So we reflected on our performance in that match and felt that we really need to improve. We didn’t want negativity to creep into our minds and thought positively. The team spirit was excellent. We knew the final would be a tough one and fought as a unit. And that paid dividends.
There is extra motivation to do well against Pakistan. Believe me, I was under no pressure when I went into goal for the shootout. I was 100% sure that I am going to keep the Pakistanis at bay and we are going to win. The team had huge belief in me and they also felt I would do nothing wrong in the shootout.”
On his goalkeeping:
“I can still improve. My goalkeeping has improved considerably when I had short stints with two goalkeeping coaches in the past, Martin Drijver and Dave Staniforth.
I hope we can have a permanent goalkeeping coach. Then not just my performance, the performance of other goalkeepers can also improve.”
What he really meant:
“You’ve got to be light on your feet and agile both as a goalie and a performer. It’s all about style, Gangnam style.”
What he definitely didn’t:
“Now if I could only get Psy to co-star with me on ‘India’s Dancing Superstar’ or ‘Zara Nachke Dikha’.”
Narendra Hirwani: What he said, really meant and definitely didn’t
Narendra Hirwani is quite a halwai (maker of sweets).
What he said:
“Many of my students at my academy in Indore tell me: ‘Sir, I have bowled 60 balls. Sir, I have bowled 50 balls today.’ I tell them: if you want to make cream, you have to condense it, and that only happens after boiling it for a period of time. A good rabri [sweet] is made only when the cream rises. For quality you need quantity.”
Narendra Hirwani asserts that young cricketers do not bowl enough in the nets.
Nagraj Gollapudi chaired five experts—Bishan Bedi, Maninder Singh, Narendra Hirwani, Murali Kartik and Amol Muzumdar—in a far-ranging discussion that delved into the reasons behind the dearth of quality spinners on the Indian scene.
Hirwani added:
“I would bowl minimum of 90 overs a day as a youngster at the Cricket Club of Indore. I would bowl at just one stump for a couple of hours. In all, I would bowl for a minimum of five hours. If you are bowling at one stump you end up bowling about 30 overs in an hour. This kind of training, bowling at one stump, is equivalent to vocalists doing riyaaz [music practice]. You build your muscle memory.”
What Hirwani really meant:
“Practice does make perfect. You have to make spin bowling a secondary habit before you can add variety to your armor. Your fundamentals have to be sound.”
What he definitely didn’t:
“Good coaches can incentivize young bowlers by offering them sweetmeats as rewards. The creamier the better. More malai (cream) and maalish (massage) for more majdoori (hard work).“
Ravi Shastri: What he said, really meant and definitely didn’t
Ravi Shastri foresaw what Sunil Narine did not see coming.
What he said:
“He treated the threat of ban as he views the charge of batsmen ill-advised dashes which could only result in failure.”
Ravi Shastri comments as to why Sunil Narine failed to read the tea leaves and continued his suspect action despite being warned by the Champions League Technical Committee. The West Indian off-spinner and Kolkata Knight Riders stalwart was called again in the Champions League semi-final and will warm the benches for the final against Chennai Super Kings.
Shastri said:
“He might have been emboldened by a fresh set of officials for the semifinals. Or he might have seen the swell of support from his teammates as his validation. Once you are indestructible, you sense you are indestructible at all levels.
Narine now has cost his team its most lethal weapon for the finals. His international career for the moment is unimpeded, but he can’t be dismissive of the threat like he has been in the Champions League. He can’t allow this shadow to lengthen on the IPL door.”
What he really meant:
“Sunil, perhaps, felt it was a one-off or that he could do nothing about his action overnight . Besides, the pressure to perform and keep bagging wickets for the side is too much to allow one to think through the consequences of one’s action (sic). Just because you have a cheerleading squad rooting your every ball doesn’t mean you can chuck. Check that action, Narine.”
What he definitely didn’t literally sing:
“The banned didn’t see it coming.”
Ryan Lochte: What he said, really meant and definitely didn’t
Ryan Lochte ‘dumbs down’ Michael Phelps.
What he said:
“I’m not concerned – he just makes dumb decisions.”
Michael Phelps’ compatriot and Swimming USA teammate Ryan Lochte is critical of his second misdemeanor in ten years. Earlier this week, the Olympic legend was booked for Driving Under the Influence (DUI). He has since issued an apology to his fans.
Lochte added:
“He has so much money to get a driver. I even have a driver. It just stinks for the sport of swimming.
But he will become smarter from this. Luckily he did not hurt himself or someone else.”
Lochte later tempered his remarks tweeting thus:
What he really meant:
“You’ve got to admit being booked twice for DUI is stupid. Especially when you know that as a celebrity you are under the scanner every moment. Consider the endorsements he could possibly lose. Besides, he could have killed someone, you know. That’s the most important thing.”
What he definitely didn’t:
“Don’t worry, Michael. You could always make do with some breathalyser and beer endorsements instead. And how about an appearance in a public interest campaign, ‘Don’t Drink and Drive’?”
Darren Sammy: What he said, really meant and definitely didn’t
Darren Sammy is either in the playing XI or not.
What he said:
“First of all, I should get into the eleven.”
Darren Sammy, former West Indies skipper, is quite pragmatic about his selection for the ODI series against India.
He continues to be in the thick of things despite retiring from Test cricket following his sacking as skipper.
He said:
“I am enjoying my life, I am enjoying my cricket at the moment. I said when I retired that the team was moving in a new direction, they had no space for me. Cricket is not about me I have always said so. It is time for West Indies cricket to move on with a new captain Denesh (Ramdin) and I am happy.
No regrets, I am just happy to still be playing one-day and T20s for West Indies and that is what I am focusing on.”
On leading the West Indies:
“(Being) the captain of West Indies is tough. Captaining any side is tough but captaining West Indies we have players from different islands, different backgrounds, different culture…it has always been tough. For me, that side of things, I don’t miss it but I continue to be a leader in the team and play my role how I am supposed to play it.
Now we have three different captains. Tests and one-day that pressure goes to (Dwayne) Bravo and Ramdin. I just wait for when it is T20. But I try to be a leader in one-day and T20 cricket.”
What he really meant:
“Let’s not count my chickens before they’re hatched. First things first: Am I going to be in the playing eleven?”
What he definitely didn’t:
“Batting in the nets is good enough for me.”
Justin Langer: What he said, really meant and definitely didn’t
Justin Langer has a mouthful of chilli.
What he said:
“It’s almost like Indians have chillies from a very early age, therefore if you eat chilli it doesn’t really bother you. But if we eat chilli, it burns our mouth, which is the same while playing spin.”
Perth Scorchers coach, Justin Langer, has an interesting analogy as explanation as to why Australian players struggle against quality spin bowling.
Speaking to CLT20.com, he said:
“No matter how much you try and prepare, it [playing spin] is very difficult.It’s like when India come to Australia, we have bouncier and faster wickets, which gets harder for them to play.”
He added:
“We are brought up on fast and bouncy wickets that swing around and not so much on spinning wickets. So when we come up here, it’s like eating chilli and it is hard to get used to it. I know in Australian cricket there is a focus in becoming better off playing spin bowling, but it is something that is going to take a long time to develop.
When you come here and you are not used to playing spin, and then you come out against world-class spinners like Sunil Narine and Mohammad Hafeez, you are always going to be tested.”
What he really meant:
“It might be easier to teach our guys to swallow hot peppers than have them move their leaden feet against top-notch spin.”
What he definitely didn’t:
“All quality players of spin are chilli eaters. And thus Mexicans (with their tabasco sauce) would be able to hammer Warney out of the park any day.”
Gautam Gambhir: What he said, really meant and definitely didn’t
Gautam Gambhir does not have flying pigs on his mind.
What he said:
“I think Sunil Narine will offer just another 12-second smile even if one day he sees pigs fly.”
Gautam Gambhir is certain that his team-mate Sunil Narine will meet both success and failure expressionlessly.
The Kolkata Knight Riders skipper is amazed that the West Indian bowler is none-too-perturbed at being reported for a dubious bowling action to the Champions League T20 Committee.
Gambhir writes:
“We were in the dressing room. I was waiting to see if his face reveals an expression. It didn’t. In the bus as we headed back to our hotel, I was still waiting. Nothing happened. At the hotel a cake shaped in numerical “13” to mark our winning streak was waiting for us.
A cake riot followed but my man offered just a 12 second smile. Later in the night we were all huddled in our team-room on the 16th floor. The boys were having fun downing beers and chicken wings rejoicing our achievement. My expression-less friend and I were in one corner playing football on Playstation. He played a flowing game and won. I thought he’d exult but nothing happened except a smile.”
“Good or bad, success or failure, win or loss Sunil has never showed emotions. Therefore, when he was warned for a suspect bowling action after our win over Dolphins on Monday night, I was worried. I didn’t know how he would react. I kept observing him searching for a hint of disappointment, worry or the likes on his face, but his expression was consistent.
Indifferent.
I knew deep down he was hurt and his pride dented. No sportsperson likes to be nudged for unfair practice. Sunil is no different. He must have been simmering deep down but he didn’t show it to anyone. We had a one-sided conversation for about 40 seconds. I told him, ‘Sunny (Sunil’s nickname), I have full faith in you.’ He offered a straight face. I continued: ‘I know you are not resorting to any unfair practice.’He nodded. ‘Just don’t worry, the entire KKR team is with you.'”
What Gambhir really meant:
“Narine’s my match-winner and I have to make sure that he is in the right frame of mind for the upcoming crucial games. Tonight, I’ll have hogs fly past his window just to make sure.”
What he definitely didn’t:
“I’m sure that Narine has nothing to say about being reported. It’s just one of those things that have happened in the past month. Perhaps, he feels he’s in exalted company. Or it’s just another hazard of the off-spinning trade. Maybe, he’s a stoic. Possibly he’s been advised by his agent and/or lawyer to admit to nothing. I wonder if he’ll stop bowling in long sleeves now.”
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