humor

Diego Maradona: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

Diego Maradona Is Wary of Argentine Museums

What he said:

"Football there is like a museum – the youngest person is 95 years old. Stay at home with your grandchildren and allow young people to manage Argentinean football."

Argentine soccer legend, Diego Maradona, is critical about the state of affairs in the Argentina Football Association (AFA). Maradona was sacked as national coach following the 0-4 loss to Germany in the World Cup quarters.

What he really meant:

“The Argentina Football Association is a museum and I’m not careful  around them (museums). I’m like a bull in a chinaware shop.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“Nobody told me how to coach the Argentinean side. That’s why we lost.”

Mahendra Singh Dhoni: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

Mahendra Singh Dhoni laments the Ugly Side of Cricket

What he said:

We just saw the ugly side of cricket. Whichever team has the upper hand, doesn’t want to play. Whichever team is not on winning side, will stick around and even play football. That’s what people do and that’s what both sides did.

Mahendra Singh Dhoni is frankness personified when he airs his opinion that the Ducksworth-Lewis method of deciding the 4th ODI against England—affected by rain—was detrimental to the spirit of the game. The ODI ended in a tie as decided by the controversial methodology.

Dhoni added:

If you have a day game, you need different guidelines and principles to follow. If you put it under lights, it doesn’t look nice.

Some of the guys were confused. Some thought we had won it. Most of us thought it was a passing shower and we would be able to get back on the field.

Once inside the dressing room, we saw the final sheet of paper. After looking at it, it was apparent it was a tie and none of the side had won the game.

This is not the first time. We were close to winning the first game also. But as I said, you can’t control the weather.

What Dhoni really meant:

“It doesn’t say much for us  if we loiter in the dressing room when the game has swung our way.”

What Dhoni definitely didn’t:

“We caught the Djokovic-Federer semi-final and unanimously agreed with Roger Federer’s post-match sentiment: ‘That’s why we all watch sports, isn’t it?  Because we don’t know the outcome and everybody has a chance, and until the very moment it can still turn.  That’s what we love about the sport, but it’s also very cruel and tough sometimes.’”

John McEnroe: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

John McEnroe Cannot Be Serious

What he said:

"She can’t even throw her racket down hard enough. Got to work on that."

John McEnroe joins the band of experts proffering advice to women’s No. 1 , Caroline Wozniacki, during her straight sets capitulation to Serena Williams in the US Open semi-finals.

What he really meant:

“It’s funny how everything seems wrong (to others) when you’re not winning.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“Why doesn’t she just yell at the linesman or referees my famous line: ‘You cannot be serious.’ I waive all copyrights.”

Mike Hussey: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

Mike Hussey Is Lost For the Right Words

What he said:

“I was starting to stiffen up already.”

Michael Hussey is not a wordsmith. The veteran Australian batsman describes his relief at being taken off after bagging his third Test wicket snaring Kumara Sangakkara.

Hussey said:

“I think it was disbelief initially. I couldn’t believe Michael Clarke was going to give me a bowl, when he said that he did sort of say he wouldn’t mind giving me a couple of overs because with a little bit less pace they might be able to chip one out to cover and obviously he was spot on the money. Particularly about the lack of pace and chipping it up to cover.”

“I was pretty shocked but obviously it was a very valuable wicket for the team and I’ll take it any day of the week because he’s obviously one of the of the best players in the world and they had a pretty good partnership going. To be able to break that and then give the guys a chance with the ball reversing a little bit was very fortuitous.”

On skipper Michael Clark’s decision to give him the ball:

“Yeah, well I think there was method to his madness.It wasn’t just about let’s just give anyone a go, it was about trying to bowl a little bit slower. The pitch was slow and it was a little bit hard to drive and Sangakkara probably showed that throughout his innings.”

“It was quite hard to force the ball down the ground, hard to time the ball. Try someone who can take the pace off a little bit more and you never know, he might be able to creat (sic) something and yeah, he was right. He’s certainly a thinking captain and yeah, he had the golden hand today.”

What Hussey really meant:

“I’m not as limber as I used to be.”

What Hussey definitely didn’t:

“I’m Mr. Fantastic.”

Andy Roddick: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

Andy Roddick Talks Money

What he said:

“13% of total revenue?  I’ll let you write your story.”

Andy Roddick does not shy from articulating that players feel that they need a bigger say in how tournaments are run (and how much money they receive).

What he really meant:

“You have the facts and figures. Go figure.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“If the players received less money, then maybe Arthur Ashe could put up a new roof and quick.”

Andy Roddick: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

Andy Roddick Is Baffled

What he said:

"I’m baffled, I’m baffled. Why are we out here?"

Andy Roddick is none-too-pleased with having to take the court on a wet day in Queens, New York.

Roddick, in his interview later, clarified:

I was surprised the second time we got called out.  We walked back there and it was wet, so I couldn’t quite figure out why we were called out.  I even said it’s coming from under.  It’s not something you can dab a towel on and make it go away.  I watched the monitors, and they were dabbing towels on it the entire time. Then they called us back out, and we walked right over it and it was wet.  I could not believe what I was looking at.  I mean, puts us in a little bit of an uncomfortable position, too, because obviously, you know, we want to play and stuff.  But it’s still there, dude.

What he really meant:

“We should be chiming ‘Raindrops Keep Falling on my Head’ instead.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“I love wet balls.”

Andy Roddick: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

Andy Roddick Negotiates At The US Open

What he said:

"I have been trying to tell people that talent normally wins in negotiations."

Andy Roddick believes it’s time players banded together to form a union. This would ensure that commercial interests do not override players’ welfare.

What he really meant:

“Tournaments aren’t money spinners when they lack star players.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“Negotiations are as easy as serving aces.”

David Ferrer: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

David Ferrer is Sore

What he said:

"It was not nice playing on Court 13, but it was nice when you are junior, no?"

David Ferrer points out how far he’s come since his junior days. The expectations differ and he’s not quite pleased with having to play on the side courts at the US Open. Ferrer succumbed to Andy Roddick in the fourth round.

What he really meant:

“When we were younger, we didn’t know better. Besides, I lost. Do you really expect me to be singing paeans of praise?”

What he definitely didn’t:

“Ah! For those glorious junior days!”

Serena Williams: What she said, really meant and definitely did not

Serena Williams Is Very, Very Careful

What she said:

"I always go out wearing either shoes that cover all my foot or most of it. I’m serious."

Serena Williams does not want a recurrence of the freak leg injury she suffered last year that kept her out of circulation on the tennis circuit.

What she really meant:

“These boots are not just meant for walking. Naked feet give me terrible deja vu.”

What she definitely didn’t:

“Closed pairs are sexy.”

Serena Williams: What she said, really meant and definitely did not

What she said:

“Well, I give half to my favorite uncle, and then the rest I probably save it hopefully.  Pray that the banks don’t go down.  (Laughter.)”

Serena William knows just what to do with the $2.8 million she will get at the US Open if she wins.

What she really meant:

“You do know, the Uncle I was referring to is Uncle Sam. Taxes, my friends, taxes.”

What she definitely didn’t:

“You’d think my $1.4 million would prop up the banks.”