humor

Nasser Hussain: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

Nasser Hussain Goes Gold-Digging

What he said:

“When you get a bowler, it’s like gold dust. You do not just let him go.”

Nasser Hussain compares bowling talent to the discovery of a gold vein.

What he really meant:

“Have you seen the price of gold lately? A good bowler’s value is like that. It keeps appreciating—with experience.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“Stake a claim and exploit them to the hilt.”

N Srinivasan: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

N Srinivasan Is Taken For a Ride

What he said:

We were taken for a ride. I know we cannot plead before you that we did not know all this was happening. Your question would be, were you not vigilant? What did you do? I am sorry, sir, there is no defence for me. No defence in front of you. So, I am not pleading that at all. We just put our heads down.

N Srinivasan, BCCI Secretary and owner of Chennai Super Kings (CSK), claims that he and his colleagues were hoodwinked by ex-IPL commissioner Lalit Modi.

His remarks were made to Parliament’s Standing Committee on finance  when it was discovered that all cheques were signed by Srinivasan—then treasurer— and his successor, MP Pandove.

What he really meant:

“So what if I’m MD of India Cements. Lalit Modi outsmarted us. Believe us, we’re innocents.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“The IPL Governing Council was farcical.”

Graeme Swann: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

Graeme Swann Feels Like a Nursemaid to his Younger Teammates

What he said:

"When they take their tops off you can see they’ve barely started puberty."

English off-spinner, Graeme Swann, likes to believe that he is the grizzled old veteran in the ODI squad likening his younger team-mates—Eoin Morgan and Jade Dernbach—to pubescent adolescents.

What he really meant:

“That’s what you get what calling me ‘Granddad’”.

What he definitely didn’t:

“You guys can always come up to me for advice on what to do for pimples and dandruff.”

Serena Williams: What she said, really meant and definitely did not

Serena Williams Is a Lady

What she said:

No, I think the guys should play second.  They’re guys.  We’re ladies.  We’re ladies.  They should totally play second all the time.  Ladies, you open the door for ladies.  They should go second.  It’s ridiculous.

Serena Williams is all for a “ladies first” policy when it comes to scheduling night matches at the US Open.

What she really meant:

“Hey, guys, I’d like to get home, eat my meals on time, watch TV and tweet.”

What she definitely didn’t:

“I don’t mind playing on the side-courts.”

Patrick McEnroe: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

Patrick McEnroe Tweets A Manly Post

What he said:

“In tennis terms Donald Young became a man today.”

Patrick McEnroe’s tweet  following Young’s five-set upset of Stanislas Wawrinka in the second round of the US Open.

What he really meant:

“Note I only said ‘in tennis terms’. Not, in general attitude or demeanour.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“What a @#$*()& great result for US Tennis. You get the drift, don’t you?”

Flavia Pennetta: What she said, really meant and definitely did not

Flavia Pennetta Has An Old Head on Young Shoulders

What she said:

“I didn’t know that, but I know I’m a little bit old, like for tennis; for life I’m young.”

Flavia Pennetta is astounded to learn that she’s among the three oldest women still left in the women’s draw at the US Open.

Pennetta added:

But, well, actually we have a good experience, like Francesca last year, she won Roland Garros and she was 30, and this year final with 31.  Na Li, she won Roland Garros and she’s 29, also.  There is some player can growing up early and some player they need time, and I’m one of them.

What she really meant:

“Life begins after tennis.”

What she definitely didn’t:

“If I’m old before I’m 30, I wonder where middle age went?”

Andy Roddick: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

Andy Roddick Does Not Let Cramps Crimp His Style

What he said:

“Cramp in your ass, you can’t sit on it anymore.  Makes it tough.”

Andy Roddick expounds on Rafael Nadal’s cramps collapse at his post-match interview.

Roddick said:

Yeah, not to put a dampener on the story, which I know you guys think is really big, but people cramp after matches when you’re cold.  It’s just something that happens.  It’s just unfortunate it happened in front of you all.  Every single player in there has had that happen before.  Every single one.  What we do, we run around, run miles and miles and miles and miles on the tennis court in nasty weather.  You throw nerves in there, I mean, it happens.  As long as it doesn’t happen during a match, you’re fine.

What he really meant:

“Have you ever seen a guy stand when he’s suffering from cramps?”

What he definitely didn’t:

“Cold weather, nerves and plenty of running. What a cocktail for adrenaline.”

Anastasia Pavlyuchenkova: What she said, really meant and definitely did not

Anastasia Pavlyuchenkova Plays The Aggressor

What she said:

“Well, first of all, I tried to be excessive aggressive.”

Russian Anastasia Pavlyuchenkova explains how she put it across Francesca Schivaone in the fourth round of the US Open.

What she really meant:

“More aggro than usual, that’s how I played.”

What she definitely didn’t:

“I was passively aggressive.”

Ana Ivanovic: What she said, really meant and definitely did not

Ana Ivanovic Combusts

What she said:

“Well, I think Serbians actually have quite a combustible character.”

Ana Ivanovic feels that Serbians, as a whole, are quite passionate.

She added:

Maybe that’s good for tennis.  Maybe that’s something that drives us.  But sometimes we can have fired up emotions out there.

What she really meant:

“Serbians are like tinder. They just need a tiny spark to light up.”

What she definitely didn’t:

“Burn, Baby, Burn.”

Samantha Stosur: What she said, really meant and definitely did not

Sam Stosur Violates The Code

What she  said:

“Yeah, I guess it’s a new thing I’ve got next to my name now.”

Samantha Stosur has a fresh appendage against her name. The Australian No. 1 was referring to a code violation she received for an audible obscenity in her match against Maria Kirilenko in the fourth round of the  US Open.

Stosur said:

I never had one.  The only disappointing thing to come out of the match.  I’m not proud of it, but I guess I released whatever I had to release and moved on.

Yeah, I guess I’m trying as hard as I can out there and don’t want to leave anything out there.  You don’t want to get a code violation or do something wrong, but if that’s what you have to do to release it and be able to play the next point well, then so be it.

What she really meant:

“Samantha, the Code Violator—how does that sound?”

What she definitely didn’t:

“I’m ‘Sam the  Mouth’. Catch me if you can.”