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Muralidharan substantiates Hashan Tillekaratne’s allegations of match-fixing (Satire)
Muttiah Muralidharan admitted that there exists more than a modicum of ‘truth’ in Hashan Tillekaratne’s allegations of match-fixing in Sri Lanka.
The legendary off-spinner stated that he ,too ,indulged in match-fixing.
“My wife and I were fixed up. It was an arranged match and I don’t see anything wrong with it. It is a Indo-Sri Lanka collaboration that has worked to our mutual benefit.” said the Tamil , with a toothy grin.
Preity Zinta, Vijay Mallya,Shilpa Shetty and SRK Take on The BCCI (Satire)
In a fresh twist to the IPL saga, Vijay Mallya, Shilpa Shetty, Preity Zinta and Shah Rukh Khan have all decided to stand for BCCI elections.
The four owners of IPL franchises feel that it is in their best interests to serve as board members while at the same time retaining a fiscal interest in the IPL.
“If Srinivasan can hold office and have a team, why can’t we own a team and be office-bearers? It’s only fair.” said Vijay Mallya.
What he said, meant and definitely didn’t : Sunil Gavaskar
What he said:
“Someone like Amarnath would have been a better choice for the simple reason that the core of the Indian team today is from the Hindi-speaking belt.”
Sunny Gavaskar comments on the choice of Duncan Fletcher as coach of Team India.
What he meant:
“We all speak Hindi, don’t we? And Mohinder definitely does. Besides, Amarnath’s not a joker.”
What he definitely didn’t:
“We need Hindi speaking coaches to teach our boys the choicest abuses while sledging the opposition that are not easily expressed in any other language.Actually, that’s Punjabi but I could never tell the difference.And neither can they.”
Ricky Ponting smashes another television set (Satire)
Ricky Ponting smashed another television set—this time at home.
The provocation for this act of ‘vandalism’ was the news that Duncan Fletcher has been appointed coach of the Indian cricket team.
It is learned from reliable, unnamed sources that the former Australian captain was in the running for arguably “the most difficult job in the sub-continent”. Negotiations with the BCCI were on-going—under the radar.
Ramakant Achrekar to coach Liz Hurley’s son, Damian (Satire)
In an exciting new discovery, Ramakant Achrekar has pronounced Liz Hurley’s son, Damian to be the next Sachin Tendulkar.
Ramakant Achrekar was Sachin Tendulkar’s childhood mentor.
Achrekar said, “I have not seen such talent in a young lad since Sachin.”
Liz Hurley is thrilled and credits current boyfriend, Shane Warne, for shaping her young son’s destiny.
Pep Guardiola and Jose Mourinho switch sides for Champions League semi-final (Satire)
The Union Of European Football Associations (UEFA) has stepped in to resolve the on-going feud between Real Madrid coach Jose Mourinho and his Barcelona counter-part Pep Guardiola.
In an innovative solution mutually agreeable to both parties, it has been decided that the two coaches will switch sides for the Champions League semi-final, the first leg of which is scheduled to be played tonight at the Bernabeu.
Real Madrid and Barcelona owners agreed to the swap; the two teams would have to cough up exorbitant fines otherwise.
Greg Chappell takes over as coach from Bob Houghton (Satire)
Australian cricket great Greg Chappell has been chosen to replace Englishman Bob Houghton as coach of the Indian soccer team by the All-India Football Federation (AIFF).
Greg Chappell had expressed his desire to return to coaching an Indian team ;the AIFF responded by inviting him to take over the mantle from ousted Houghton.
AIFF general secretary, Kushal Das, said, “We need a coach who is out-spoken, enjoys the confidence of the players and who does not shy away from controversy.”
Kapil Thakur’s slipper bought by Suresh Kalmadi for Rs. 95 crores (Satire)
The slipper flung at Suresh Kalmadi by Kapil Thakur has been seized and retained by the New Delhi police.
Upon detailed examination, the slipper has been valued at Rs. 95 crores.
Suresh Kalmadi has arranged to purchase the slipper and pay Thakur the requisite sum, saying that he does not have time to process the necessary formalities.
Lalit Modi, Shashi Tharoor short-listed for IOA presidency (Satire)
Following the arrest of Suresh Kalmadi by the Central Bureau of Investigation (CBI), the Indian Olympic Association (IOA) are frantically looking out for a successor to the high profile minister.
Two names have been short-listed.
The first is former IPL commissioner Lalit Modi who is currently in London.
The other name bandied about is former Minister of External Affairs, Shashi Tharoor.
Sachin Tendulkar named Sathya Sai Baba’s successor (Satire)
In his will discovered late last evening, Sri Sathya Sai Baba has anointed Sachin Tendulkar as his successor.
The master batsman has been named the sole beneficiary in the godman’s last testament.
The codicil states: “I have always been a huge fan of Sachin. He is a God to millions of Indians, just like I am. He has devotees cutting across state lines and so do I. He does not need money and neither did I.”
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Make Time For Sports. 