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Narendra Modi: What he said, really meant and definitely didn’t

Narendra Modi

What he said:

“When our cricketers win a tournament, the entire country celebrates. What the scientists have achieved today, is much greater than that.”

Prime Minister of India, Narendra Modi, makes a pointed reference to the skewed priorities of the Indian public when it comes to celebrating the country’s achievements.

The occasion was India becoming the first country  to send a space craft into Mars’ orbit on its maiden attempt.

What he really meant:

“We need heroes from all spheres and professions—not merely sports and films.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“Now that’s what I’d  term bowling a maiden over!”

Om Yun Chol: What he said, really meant and definitely didn’t

Om Yun Chol

What he said:

“Have you ever heard that an egg can break a stone?”

North Korean weightlifting champion, Om Yun Chol,  nonpluses journalists at the Incheon Asian Games with a seeming riddle.

The 1.52 metres (five feet) tall North Korean athlete weighing just 56 kilograms (123 pounds)  cleared up the confusion saying that it was a recipe for success propounded by their great leader Marshal Kim Jong Un.

“Take one egg.

Add an idea.

Break a stone with said egg.

Voila.”

is the great man’s mantra.

The North Korean athletes left no stone unturned in professing their love and dedication to their great leader.

Kim Un Guk said:

“In the past, not only for the 17th Asian Games, I had some trouble with my waist. 

But thanks to the warm care of the Respected Marshal Kim Jong Un, I did not feel any trouble in treating the trouble on my waist. So, the warm care and great love of Respected Marshal Kim Jong Un has given me the opportunity to be the champion.”

Another North Korean coach said:

“Our Great Leader has improved all the sports facilities 100 percent and the popularity of weightlifting among North Koreans is very high.

We have a lot of young kids training in weightlifting now and Great Leader Kim Jong Un tries to showcase weightlifting as much as possible.

We all eat the same things together and we train in good facilities, not just in Pyongyang but all over the country.”

What Om Yun Chol really meant:

“Ideas can move mountains.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“How will you have your eggs? Hard-boiled, scrambled or sunny side up? Stone-cold, perhaps? Have a stony seat while I rustle them up. What an idea!”

Ravi Shastri: What he said, really meant and definitely didn’t

Ravi Shastri

What he said:

“Narine makes you no better than a blind, a lame or a mentally challenged person. Compared to him, video games are a child’s play.”

Ravi Shastri attributes Kolkata Knightriders’ stupendous show at the Champion Leagues T20 to one man, Sunil Narine. The West Indian mystery bowler continues to bamboozle his opponents.

Shastri said:

“While everything on this Earth is being figured out, Narine it seems is a mystery forever. It’s not that batsmen can’t see him or watch the ball fizz out of his hand.But what they perceive and how the delivery behaves are two opposites.”

Shastri—writing further—said:

“Rivals thus end up playing 16 to KKR’s 20 overs. The handicap of one-fifth of overs is too big to overcome in a format where a win is often secured off the last ball and a margin of 5-10 runs is routine. The related effect of batsmen giving wanton charge to other bowlers and rushing to their doom is less appreciated.”

What he really meant:

“The opposing bats are like handicapped golfers—at a disadvantage before they begin.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“What’s West Indies doing with a world-class spinner? Aren’t they supposed to have burly, fearsome pacers instead? And if he’s so good, why aren’t they winning more?”

PV Sindhu: What she said, really meant and definitely didn’t

PV Sindhu

What she said:

“I’ll tell you when I do fall in love.”

PV Sindhu is the best thing to happen to Indian badminton since Saina Nehwal. She has two World Championship bronze medals to her name—a feat no other Indian shuttler has ever achieved. Is she the next big thing or the current big thing? Consistency will tell.

What she really meant:

“I have little time for anything outside badminton. Until then…”

What she definitely didn’t:

“We’ll have a small bio-pic produced when that happens with a theme song titled ‘Dil Yeh Shuttle Hai'”.

Louis Van Gaal: What he said, really meant and definitely didn’t

Louis Van Gaal

What he said:

“It’s very important for a club such as Manchester United to have guardians of its culture.”

Manchester United’s new coach, Louis Van Gaal, hopes that the culture of the club will be retained with the introduction of fresh blood—youngsters—who have the ethos of the club ingrained in their DNA.

“Every youth player who comes through can be a guardian. The ‘Class of 92’ [Beckham, Butt, Giggs, Neville and Scholes] were guardians of the club’s culture. You need very good youth education so you have always more players who can become guardians.

Wayne Rooney is also a guardian of this culture now as captain and he can transfer this culture to his fellow players.”

Van Gaal intends to repeat his success in creating fresh cores at his former clubs with United.

He said:

“I did it with Barcelona where I gave debuts to Xavi, [Andres] Iniesta, [Carles] Puyol and [Victor] Valdes. At Bayern Munich, we had [Holger] Badstuber, [Thomas] Muller and [David] Alaba who can guard the culture. I also want to do that here but the youth players have to take their chance when they receive it.”

What he really meant:

“Organizational culture cannot be created overnight. It is a gradual process and MU’s vision, values, norms, systems, symbols, language, assumptions, beliefs, and habits will be imbibed by the players and affect the way they perceive, think and even feel.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“In simpler terms, I need easily influenced youth who I can then brainwash.”

Abhinav Bindra: What he said, really meant and definitely didn’t

Abhinav Bindra

What he said:

“In shooting, you need to be dumb. You people think differently, but I’m telling you that I have become dumb. I was always humorous by nature but, maybe, no one noticed it. Or, maybe, I looked just too intense or serious to others.”

Abhinav Bindra is so focused on his sport that he seems obtuse.

When questioned whether he has matured with age:

“I would like to enjoy the sport. I am here at the moment because I like the sport more than I used to. In the last few years, I have had this great realisation that I am actually in love with this sport.”

What he really meant:

“What’s seems stupid to most others makes eminent sense to me. Shooting is thus a dumb sport. Don’t you think?”

What he definitely didn’t:

“Humour is in the understanding of the beholder.”

Joan Capdevila: What he said, really meant and definitely didn’t

Joan Capdevila

What he said:

“When I first told my family and friends about signing on with the ISL they did not believe me, they thought it was a joke! My family asked if I had gone crazy!”

Spanish World Cup winner, Joan Capdevila, is not deranged but had a hard time convincing his family members that he had not lost his senses when he conveyed his decision to play for NorthEast United Football Club (NEUFC) in the still nascent Indian Super League (ISL).

The left-back is the team’s marquee player.

The ISL begins in October this year and will run till December. It will have eight teams.Each team has one marquee player and seven foreigners. Only two of the seven foreign players can be directly recruited; the other five are are picked in the foreign player draft. Each team will also have 14 Indian footballers.

Capdevila said:

“When I showed them (my family) all the proof, they asked me if I was sure about this. But now since the ISL momentum is picking up, they are looking forward to my updates on my experience. My friends may also come down to see me but my family unfortunately will not.”

The presence of many Spaniards in the league has contributed to some excitement in Spain too.

“To be honest, there wasn’t much buzz in Spain about the ISL at the start. Now with more international players signing with teams, the Spanish fans are excited to see this amalgamation of known and unknown talents. I am also eager for the games to begin as it will globalise the football industry further.”

On the league and Indian soccer:

“This is very different from other leagues. In India, it is just starting and this is a very nice beginning. It is a very nice project which is going to be for a lot of years. Indian football is going to grow and would call a lot of attention of other players for sure. It is a nice project for the future to be put like a league for the whole year. After many years, it is going to be the main league of India for sure.”

Actor-producer John Abraham, also a co-owner of the NEUFC side, said:

“We feel that this is an incubation league. This is to quickstart the interest of football in the country. We are looking at a very long term vision, that we believe that this two-and-half month league would probably at some point be an eight month or nine month league.

Maybe it could merge with the premier league or it could be the Premier League. I believe that the ISL will become a seven or eight month league, given a gestation period of three to five years.

Initially, it (opting for overseas players past their prime) would help. It is very important to get players with that kind of experience on board. Having players like Capdevila and other marquee players, it will help. I think it will help in the short run initially to spark off the interest and be a catalyst but in the long run of course we need to re-strategize and understand what we need to do.

As far as NorthEast United is concerned, we are very clear that our focus is young domestic players. As of today, we have the youngest team in the ISL by five years. And we will make sure by next year, we will be a far younger team.”

Meanwhile, Capdevila feels that Spain should not abandon the tiki-taka style of play.

“It’s time for change and bring in some new players.

I hope Spain is at their highest level again from tomorrow but honestly it’s going to take longer.

For the next Euro Cup it is going to be difficult but I hope to see them challenging again for the 2018 World Cup. But I am not sure yet as the players are very young.

The style of playing for Spain is going to be the same, just the players are going to change.

It has been the style for many, many years and I will be surprised if (coach) Vicente del Bosquecan now change their style of play.”

What Capdevila really meant:

“India is not known for its footballing prowess. And you want to play in the heat and humidity? Are you crazy? What about the language? And the food?”

What he definitely didn’t:

“I’m not a spring chicken anymore. India will do nicely. Let’s just term the terms—pre-retirement benefits.”

Ian Chappell: What he said, really meant and definitely didn’t

Ian Chappell

What he said:

“Not only is it important to keep the contest between bat and ball fair, it also pays to remember kids are great mimics.”

Ian Chappell writes that bowlers with dubious bowling actions should be called early and their actions rectified before they go on to become successes on the domestic and international playing fields. The attendant adverse publicity casts aspersions on the game and its proponents.

Chappell said:

“…because kids are mimics and will copy the heroes of the day, and a sure way to eradicate dodgy actions is stop offenders before they reach the first-class arena.”

The player-turned-commentator adds:

“…the one area of the chucking issue the ICC hasn’t addressed is the law as it applies to on-field immediacy. How come a batsman is protected when a bowler oversteps the front line by a millimetre but he isn’t when a trundler suddenly pelts one after bowling the bulk of his deliveries?

Batsmen need immediate protection in this case rather than getting a letter from the ICC six months later apologising because they have discovered the delivery that uprooted off stump was illegal.”

What Chappell really meant:

“Kids are impressionable and bound to imitate their heroes. If they (heroes) have feet of clay, kids have no firm ground to fall back on for their mimicked actions. Besides, the mentality becomes one of ‘ If they (apparently) can get away with it, why can’t I?'”

What he definitely didn’t:

“I could teach apes to bowl and they’d bowl every ball cleanly.”

Gautam Gambhir: What he said, really meant and definitely didn’t

Gautam Gambhir

What he said:

“I have enjoyed when a gorgeous cricket ball declines the advances of my well-manicured cricket bat. But loaded with the perseverance of a sincere lover, my bat wins.”

Gautam Gambhir waxes lyrical on the value of practiced perseverance. The Indian opener confesses, that unlike Andre Agassi, he loves his sport.

Gambhir wrote:

“Whenever I look at the Gautam Gambhir in the mirror it seems tennis star Andre Agassi is reading out passages from his autobiography, Open. Agassi says he ‘hated tennis with dark and secret passion’. This is after tennis gave him identity, fortune, silverware, a few wanted and unwanted perks that a successful, young man is prone to get, later on a beautiful wife and most importantly adrenaline of being in a competition. But the fact is he hated his sport. You’d say either Agassi teamed up with the publishers to sell his book, or he’s just being cynical. Sorry, neither.”

Gambhir adds:

“Unlike Agassi, I love my sport. I can watch any game of cricket on TV. Even if the repeat telecast is for the 600th time, I’d be glued with excitement of a woman watching serials on conniving ladies. I might bat like a novice in the middle but I just love batting and its romance. I have enjoyed when a gorgeous cricket ball declines the advances of my well-manicured cricket bat. But loaded with perseverance of a sincere lover my bat wins. It then starts to caress, cuddle and later even lovingly thump its once shining lady.

But the real challenge lies beyond these dreamy passages. You wake up on a match day and you are in company of fear of failure. You turn on the shower and instead of water you have expectations beating on your body. You dress up but in reality you are wearing the image of a celebrity that the outside world wants to see you as – a champion or a loser.”

On Andre Russel, his Kolkata Knight Riders teammate:

“Even in the past he has been our Superman. On most occasions he’s dancing, grooving, laughing and when he gets bored he does all of these all over again. He secretly admits that he wants to dress up like a Jamaican but can’t do it as he’d stand out among ‘sober Indians’.

Amid all this, he is still a bloody good cricketer. There is a method to his power-hitting. Just recall his use of the depth of the crease while hitting those sixes against Chennai Super Kings. He does 100 meters under 11 seconds which I think anyone having a Jamaican passport does. I told him that his Mohawk hairstyle needs a bit of a mojo as it has flattened out. He just gives me a hearty Jamaican laugh as if to say, ‘No mojo skippermaan, my hair needs Viagra!’ Don’t be surprised if Andre actually tells me this one day.”

What Gambhir really meant:

“My love of the game is based on practice and perseverance. The more I persevere and practice, the better I connect. “

What he definitely didn’t:

“Now if James Anderson and company were here, I’d show them how well I’ve mastered their ‘Lady in Red’. For now, I love hammering the ‘White Widow’ on Indian soil.”

Sanjay Bangar: What he said, really meant and definitely didn’t

Sanjay Bangar

What he said:

“If you put on a face that is not you, you will be found out.”

Sanjay Bangar has learnt one thing for certain in his first year as coach.

What he really meant:

“Players respect you if you’re genuine. You cannot don a mask; it can slip at the most awkward moments. Be natural, be yourself and you will have their respect.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“I’d love to star in Jim Carrey’s ‘The Mask’.”