Stories

Luis Enrique: What he said, really meant and definitely didn’t

Barcelona coach Luis Enrique is piqued.

What he said:

“(Luis) Suarez, fat? He is a naturally stocky player. He is at his ideal weight and he is ready to compete. If you want we’ll give him liposuction but I don’t think he needs it.”

What he really meant:

“Now, now, now. Suarez has scored two goals on his return and yet the press claims he’s overweight. Maybe it’s all the critical newsprint he’s been chewing on since the World Cup that’s making him appear lethargic to you…”

What he definitely didn’t:

“What’s a little bite or two for Suarez? He’s earned it.”


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Younis Khan: What he said, really meant and definitely didn’t

Younis Khan’s 30-minute tirade.

What he said:

“Javed Miandad, Inzamam-ul-Haq and Mohammad Yousuf went while crying. When Inzamam was leaving, I was the one who went and clapped for him.”

Pakistani veteran bat Younis Khan is furious at being left out of the squad for the ODI series against Australia. The Pakistani Cricket Board (PCB) indicated that he will not be considered for next year’s World Cup either.

He said:

“Don’t select me, not even in Tests. I sacrifice my future.I am saying a simple thing, if they are saying that youngsters are future of ODIs, then where is the future of Pakistan in Test cricket? Don’t select me in Test matches and make [the youngsters] the future of Pakistan in Test cricket too. But what will happen if they can’t make a team for ODIs and Test matches after five months, will they again do recalling?

I won’t die and I won’t be 70-year-old in four-five months, if they don’t let me play with dignity then so be it. They have hurt me, they have hurt me when they said that players like me have no future. Then who has a future? So a player like me should shoot himself? When they are 35, 36, players like me wake up at seven ‘o’ clock, show commitment, I can do only this. Instead shoot ourselves, don’t play cricket at all, don’t play domestic cricket at all? I will wait for 4-5 months. They are saying that I don’t have a future, I will wait, I am not retiring, I will wait, may this team go ahead, if they make the team [strong] I won’t come back.”

Younis added:

“I came back after almost 17-18 months, but they said he is not in our future plans. Who has a future then? I give my 120% as a player, I am perhaps the only cricketer [who does so]. I am not saying drop a youngster and let me play. I am just saying that justice should be done with players like me, give us what we deserve. My nephew died and I came back. When they do such things with senior players, what will youngsters think. Change doesn’t come like this, you can’t wave a magic wand.

Don’t let everyone be treated in a similar manner, those who have raised the flag of this country, don’t disrespect them otherwise no youngster will play for Pakistan.”

The former skipper advised Pakistani youngsters thus:

“Is this my mistake that when youngsters struggle they come to me instead of going to coaches and I do help them? I try to help Pakistan, and still I am surprised that I have played for 14-15 years for Pakistan.

I never told anyone to back me in media or phoned anyone [about selection]. If I deserve Test matches and ODI I should be given chance. Is this my fault that I don’t go to selectors? I don’t call them? I don’t meet them before going for the match? England media was very harsh on us in 2009, when they used to allege us that we were doing ball tampering, then I stood firm and I defended Pakistan. I was the captain when Pakistan won the World T20. If this is my mistake, then my suggestion to youngster is don’t play for Pakistan. Don’t think about playing for Pakistan.”

What he really meant:

“Very few (Pakistani) cricketers are allowed to go out in style like Sachin Tendulkar. They are pushed out whether they like it or not. It’s just not cricket that they are (I am) unceremoniously dropped.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“Can you lend me your kerchief, please? Mine’s soaked and salty.”

Randeep Hooda: What he said, really meant and definitely didn’t

Randeep Hooda is Bollywood’s Dark Horse.

What he said:

“While announcing my name, they said `ladies and gentlemen, Bollywood is in equestrian sport now. Please give a big round of applause.“

Bollywood star, Randeep Hooda, recounts his initial competitive experience in equestrian sport.

He said:

“I was in an event called fault and out (one mistake and you are out of the competition)… and my horse refused the first jump itself.

I can’t tell you what I went through. I didn’t know where to look.As an actor, a celebrity, I draw extra attention and if I fail people are quick to pull me down. That’s one of the reasons I need to work extra hard, so I don’t make a mockery of myself. I needed two more years before I got into a winning spree.”

The macho actor recently won seven medals, including three gold and two silver, at the National Equestrian Championship in dressage and show-jumping events.

“I would have loved to be part of this strong Asian Games contingent.But as my movie career is just gathering momentum, I didn’t even try this time. By the next edition, I want to be in a position to take off for eight-nine months and give it a shot.”

“Like every sportsperson, I want to win a medal for my country . I want to be on the podium when the Indian flag is being hoisted.”

What he really meant:

“I could have done without the extra attention. I just wanted to focus on doing well in my event.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“I thought they were referring to my thoroughbreds—Ranji,  Johnny Walker, Simply Supreme,  Rommel and Atilla. They’ve all got showbiz names.”

Ashwell Prince: What he said, really meant and definitely didn’t

Ashwell Prince – New Years Day Training at the Sydney Cricket Ground 2009. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Ashwell Prince is done with his share.

What he said:

“You can’t survive for 66 Tests just on the basis of a quota.”

Ashwell Prince protests that coloreds in the South African side do not get full credit for their on-field achievements. His Cricinfo profile describes him as a beneficiary of the post-apartheid preferential treatment for blacks in South African sport.

He added:

“It saddens me that I have to point that out today, but you have to defend yourself.”

Prince said:

“As soon as apartheid fell away and we could compete with white kids, we proved that colour had nothing to do with it. Right from the start, we could go from Galvendale, which is where I grew up in Port Elizabeth, go to their ground and beat them. It was all about opportunity and being able to show what you could do.”

On the quota system:

“We were aware that there were quota systems in provincial cricket. But as far as the national team was concerned, there was never ever a quota system. Unfortunately, outside of South African cricket, people didn’t see it like that, so whenever someone of colour was selected for the national team there were these questions. It came as no surprise to me that opposition players would target me in that way.”

What he really meant:

“On the field, race hardly matters. It’s runs, wickets and catches that count. In my case, certainly, statistics don’t lie.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“Have I used up my quota of words or what?”

Caroline Wozniacki: What she said, really meant and definitely didn’t

Caroline Wozniacki is a chocoholic and ‘chocolicious’.

What she said:

“I will do a chocolate deal for product only. No need for money.”

Caroline Wozniacki is less interested in the money endorsements bring her and more about how a company and its products make her feel.

The Dane tennis star desires a chocolate deal because Swiss master, Roger Federer, left a huge bar of Lindt in her US Open locker.

What she really meant:

“I want what chocolate can do for me. I have chocolate on my mind.”

What she definitely didn’t:

“It’s got to be Swiss chocolate or nothing. Belgian will just not do. And it should be shaped like Rory (McIllroy).”

Narendra Modi: What he said, really meant and definitely didn’t

Narendra Modi

What he said:

“When our cricketers win a tournament, the entire country celebrates. What the scientists have achieved today, is much greater than that.”

Prime Minister of India, Narendra Modi, makes a pointed reference to the skewed priorities of the Indian public when it comes to celebrating the country’s achievements.

The occasion was India becoming the first country  to send a space craft into Mars’ orbit on its maiden attempt.

What he really meant:

“We need heroes from all spheres and professions—not merely sports and films.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“Now that’s what I’d  term bowling a maiden over!”

Om Yun Chol: What he said, really meant and definitely didn’t

Om Yun Chol

What he said:

“Have you ever heard that an egg can break a stone?”

North Korean weightlifting champion, Om Yun Chol,  nonpluses journalists at the Incheon Asian Games with a seeming riddle.

The 1.52 metres (five feet) tall North Korean athlete weighing just 56 kilograms (123 pounds)  cleared up the confusion saying that it was a recipe for success propounded by their great leader Marshal Kim Jong Un.

“Take one egg.

Add an idea.

Break a stone with said egg.

Voila.”

is the great man’s mantra.

The North Korean athletes left no stone unturned in professing their love and dedication to their great leader.

Kim Un Guk said:

“In the past, not only for the 17th Asian Games, I had some trouble with my waist. 

But thanks to the warm care of the Respected Marshal Kim Jong Un, I did not feel any trouble in treating the trouble on my waist. So, the warm care and great love of Respected Marshal Kim Jong Un has given me the opportunity to be the champion.”

Another North Korean coach said:

“Our Great Leader has improved all the sports facilities 100 percent and the popularity of weightlifting among North Koreans is very high.

We have a lot of young kids training in weightlifting now and Great Leader Kim Jong Un tries to showcase weightlifting as much as possible.

We all eat the same things together and we train in good facilities, not just in Pyongyang but all over the country.”

What Om Yun Chol really meant:

“Ideas can move mountains.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“How will you have your eggs? Hard-boiled, scrambled or sunny side up? Stone-cold, perhaps? Have a stony seat while I rustle them up. What an idea!”

Ravi Shastri: What he said, really meant and definitely didn’t

Ravi Shastri

What he said:

“Narine makes you no better than a blind, a lame or a mentally challenged person. Compared to him, video games are a child’s play.”

Ravi Shastri attributes Kolkata Knightriders’ stupendous show at the Champion Leagues T20 to one man, Sunil Narine. The West Indian mystery bowler continues to bamboozle his opponents.

Shastri said:

“While everything on this Earth is being figured out, Narine it seems is a mystery forever. It’s not that batsmen can’t see him or watch the ball fizz out of his hand.But what they perceive and how the delivery behaves are two opposites.”

Shastri—writing further—said:

“Rivals thus end up playing 16 to KKR’s 20 overs. The handicap of one-fifth of overs is too big to overcome in a format where a win is often secured off the last ball and a margin of 5-10 runs is routine. The related effect of batsmen giving wanton charge to other bowlers and rushing to their doom is less appreciated.”

What he really meant:

“The opposing bats are like handicapped golfers—at a disadvantage before they begin.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“What’s West Indies doing with a world-class spinner? Aren’t they supposed to have burly, fearsome pacers instead? And if he’s so good, why aren’t they winning more?”

Louis Van Gaal: What he said, really meant and definitely didn’t

Louis Van Gaal

What he said:

“It’s very important for a club such as Manchester United to have guardians of its culture.”

Manchester United’s new coach, Louis Van Gaal, hopes that the culture of the club will be retained with the introduction of fresh blood—youngsters—who have the ethos of the club ingrained in their DNA.

“Every youth player who comes through can be a guardian. The ‘Class of 92’ [Beckham, Butt, Giggs, Neville and Scholes] were guardians of the club’s culture. You need very good youth education so you have always more players who can become guardians.

Wayne Rooney is also a guardian of this culture now as captain and he can transfer this culture to his fellow players.”

Van Gaal intends to repeat his success in creating fresh cores at his former clubs with United.

He said:

“I did it with Barcelona where I gave debuts to Xavi, [Andres] Iniesta, [Carles] Puyol and [Victor] Valdes. At Bayern Munich, we had [Holger] Badstuber, [Thomas] Muller and [David] Alaba who can guard the culture. I also want to do that here but the youth players have to take their chance when they receive it.”

What he really meant:

“Organizational culture cannot be created overnight. It is a gradual process and MU’s vision, values, norms, systems, symbols, language, assumptions, beliefs, and habits will be imbibed by the players and affect the way they perceive, think and even feel.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“In simpler terms, I need easily influenced youth who I can then brainwash.”

Gautam Gambhir: What he said, really meant and definitely didn’t

Gautam Gambhir

What he said:

“I have enjoyed when a gorgeous cricket ball declines the advances of my well-manicured cricket bat. But loaded with the perseverance of a sincere lover, my bat wins.”

Gautam Gambhir waxes lyrical on the value of practiced perseverance. The Indian opener confesses, that unlike Andre Agassi, he loves his sport.

Gambhir wrote:

“Whenever I look at the Gautam Gambhir in the mirror it seems tennis star Andre Agassi is reading out passages from his autobiography, Open. Agassi says he ‘hated tennis with dark and secret passion’. This is after tennis gave him identity, fortune, silverware, a few wanted and unwanted perks that a successful, young man is prone to get, later on a beautiful wife and most importantly adrenaline of being in a competition. But the fact is he hated his sport. You’d say either Agassi teamed up with the publishers to sell his book, or he’s just being cynical. Sorry, neither.”

Gambhir adds:

“Unlike Agassi, I love my sport. I can watch any game of cricket on TV. Even if the repeat telecast is for the 600th time, I’d be glued with excitement of a woman watching serials on conniving ladies. I might bat like a novice in the middle but I just love batting and its romance. I have enjoyed when a gorgeous cricket ball declines the advances of my well-manicured cricket bat. But loaded with perseverance of a sincere lover my bat wins. It then starts to caress, cuddle and later even lovingly thump its once shining lady.

But the real challenge lies beyond these dreamy passages. You wake up on a match day and you are in company of fear of failure. You turn on the shower and instead of water you have expectations beating on your body. You dress up but in reality you are wearing the image of a celebrity that the outside world wants to see you as – a champion or a loser.”

On Andre Russel, his Kolkata Knight Riders teammate:

“Even in the past he has been our Superman. On most occasions he’s dancing, grooving, laughing and when he gets bored he does all of these all over again. He secretly admits that he wants to dress up like a Jamaican but can’t do it as he’d stand out among ‘sober Indians’.

Amid all this, he is still a bloody good cricketer. There is a method to his power-hitting. Just recall his use of the depth of the crease while hitting those sixes against Chennai Super Kings. He does 100 meters under 11 seconds which I think anyone having a Jamaican passport does. I told him that his Mohawk hairstyle needs a bit of a mojo as it has flattened out. He just gives me a hearty Jamaican laugh as if to say, ‘No mojo skippermaan, my hair needs Viagra!’ Don’t be surprised if Andre actually tells me this one day.”

What Gambhir really meant:

“My love of the game is based on practice and perseverance. The more I persevere and practice, the better I connect. “

What he definitely didn’t:

“Now if James Anderson and company were here, I’d show them how well I’ve mastered their ‘Lady in Red’. For now, I love hammering the ‘White Widow’ on Indian soil.”