coach

This tag is associated with 10 posts

Pep Guardiola: What he said, really meant and definitely did not


Pep Guardiola

Pep Guardiola Needs Stronger, Quicker Legs

What he said:

"Not even Usain Bolt would have been able to stop him.I’d like my team to have legs with so much running in them."

Barca manager, Pep Guardiola, does not blame his side for allowing AC Milan’s Alexandre Pato’s fifth-quickest goal in the Champions League—in all of 24 seconds.

What he really meant:

“A real pity Pato’s goal did not meet the same fate that Bolt’s 100 meters run at the World championships did.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“What if I picked the Jamaican relay squad as defenders? Would that have worked?”

Caroline Wozniacki : What she said, really meant and definitely did not


Caroline Wozniacki at the 2009 US Open

What she said:

"I’m not going to forget how to play tennis in a few days."

Women’s No.1 , Caroline Woznicaki, dismisses suggestions that her US Open performance will be affected by her split from her current coach and father, Piotr Wozniacki.

What she really meant:

“I cannot play worse—without one. Can I?”

What she definitely didn’t say:

“If Marion (Bartoli) and Andy (Murray) can yell at their parents and entourage, why can’t I fire my dad?”

Alan Butcher: What he said, really meant and definitely did not


What he said:

“Zimbabweans pride themselves on being hospitable. So even in this match, we keep throwing them a lifeline.”

Zimbabwean coach, Alan Butcher, throws up an innovative excuse for letting their opponents, Bangladesh, off the hook in the Test at Harare.

What he really meant:

“We do want the Bangladeshis returning for more. They’re  the only team we can beat regularly.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“We take pride in losing matches at home.”

Li Na: What she said, really meant and definitely did not


Li Na at the 2009 US Open

What she said:

“My ultimate goal is to become a housewife.”

Li Na is not burdened by public expectations and will feel content if she fulfils her ultimate goal of being a housewife.

What she really meant:

“Now, that my husband’s not my coach, maybe it’s time I was a good wife to him.”

What she definitely didn’t:

“How do you like my house-hubby?”

Stuart Law: What he said, really meant and definitely did not


Ian Bell preparing for the 4th Ashes test 2005...

What he said:

“It was another great innings today. He’s a pain in the backside, to be honest.”

Sri Lankan coach, Stuart Law, minces no words in his assessment of Ian Bell’s contribution to his side’s travails in the Test series against England.

What he really meant:

“Bell has been the backbone of this English side—to our detriment.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“I’ve ordered extra padding in our players’ trouser seats. And loads of Zandu balm.”

Ten labours on Shane Warne’s To-Do list, post IPL 2011 (Humour)


Shane warne sketch

Ten things that Shane Warne can do once he retires from the IPL:

  1. Marry Elizabeth Hurley.
  2. Coach or mentor the Rajasthan Royals (But, of course).
  3. Commentate (Obviously).
  4. Pen another autobiography. His first one’s titled “Shane Warne: My autobiography".
  5. Model and endorse Estee Lauder products.
  6. Write an agony aunt column on dating, breaking-up and re-dating.Advice on Twitter as a dating tool included.
  7. Act (in a Bollywood blockbuster co-starring Shilpa Shetty).
  8. Run the Big Bash Down Under.
  9. Represent Australia once more. (Come on, there’s no one even close to Warney
    in the pipeline.)
  10. Play 888 Poker.


Quote of the day:
Arithmetic is being able to count up to twenty without taking off your shoes. – Mickey Mouse

What he said, meant and what he definitely didn’t: Shah Rukh Khan


What he said:

“Dada is my favourite player. But we need to move on. I wish him all the best with Pune Warriors and hope that he does really well.”

Shah Rukh Khan making it clear that KKR don’t need Saurav Ganguly’s services.

What he meant:

“Now if Ganguly would have done a few more promotions with me, everything would have been hunky-dory.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“In Chak De II, I’m playing the coach again and Dada’s the captain of the team.”

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Ramakant Achrekar to coach Liz Hurley’s son, Damian (Satire)


In an exciting new discovery, Ramakant Achrekar has pronounced Liz Hurley’s son, Damian to be the next Sachin Tendulkar.

Ramakant Achrekar was Sachin Tendulkar’s  childhood mentor.

Achrekar said, “I have not seen such talent in a young lad since Sachin.”

Liz Hurley is thrilled and credits current boyfriend, Shane Warne, for shaping her young son’s destiny.

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What they said and what they definitely didn’t mean: Ray Jennings


What he said:

“What he’s produced tonight scares the hell out of me and hopefully will scare others going forward.”

RCB Coach Ray Jennings on Chris Gayle’s extraordinary opening act in this year’s IPL.

What he meant:

“If this is how he (Gayle) plays jet-lagged and after a scrap with the WICB, I wish he’d have them (scraps) every day.”

What he definitely didn’t:

Scary Movie X, here come Gayle and RCB as starring cast.”

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Quote Misquote: Roger Federer,Novak Djokovic, Li Na and Maria Sharapova


Roger Federer at the 2008 Beijing Olympics

Image via Wikipedia

ROGER FEDERER

“Yeah, I mean, they say that very quickly, so…

Let’s talk in six months again.”

What he really meant:

Don’t write off Rafa or me as yet.

What he definitely didn’t:

Yeah, Rafa and I are going to quit the sport in six months.

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