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Shoaib Akhtar: What he said, really meant and definitely did not
What he said:
“I don’t believe in teamwork; give me a team that works!”
Shoaib Akhtar asserts that it’s his favourite quote.
What he really meant:
“Teamwork is about doing your job and allowing,ensuring and facilitating your teammates to do theirs well or better.”
“Everyone works but not all pull in the same direction.”
What he definitely didn’t:
“’Working in Teams’ —That’s the next stop on my motivational speeches tour.”
What he said, really meant and definitely didn’t: Tillakaratne Dilshan
What he said:
“Next season I’ll need a bullet-proof chest pad as Gayle is hitting them like a rocket.”
Tillakaratne Dilshan on Chris Gayle’s blazing form for Royal Challengers Bangalore and how he’s enjoying the close-up view.
What he really meant:
“The way Gayle’s playing, I’m safer in the pod.”
What he definitely didn’t:
“If I get the bullet-proof chest guard, I’m touring Pakistan.”
What he said, really meant and definitely didn’t: Rohit Sharma
What he said:
“”I don’t want to think too much about that. I am taking one thing at a time. I just want to concentrate on theIPL. I want to win the trophy for Mumbai. By thinking too much you just confuse yourself.”
Rohit Sharma claiming that he is not thinking of an India cap yet.
What he really meant:
“If I play well, then I can expect an India call, but why count my chickens before they’ve hatched? It’ll be like putting the cart before the horse.”
What he definitely didn’t:
“I don’t think.”
What he said, really meant and definitely didn’t: Geoffrey Boycott
What he said:
“We made some appalling selections in India and our team did not look like they could win an egg cup let alone the World Cup.”
Geoffrey Boycott making it clear that England needs to take a hard, bold look at their approach in the shorter format of the game.
What he really meant:
“The English team at the World Cup were pathetically inconsistent. I threw in that egg cup bit to bolster my point.”
What he definitely didn’t:
“I’ll coach this team into winning at croquet and lacrosse.As a bonus, I’ll teach them to putt into an egg cup from six yards.”
What he said, meant, and definitely didn’t: Yuvraj Singh
What he said:
“Now we are in such a situation where another loss would mean that we are out of the competition. Not a great feeling.”
Yuvraj Singh fancying Pune Warriors India’s chances on the eve of their big game against Mumbai Indians.
What he meant:
“It’s make-or-break for Pune Warriors. God help us.”
What he definitely didn’t:
“It’ll be a wonderful opportunity for me to take a break from some cricket after the trials and tribulations of the World Cup. Dada’s here and he can come up with some Dadagiri.”
What he said, meant and definitely didn’t : Sunil Gavaskar
What he said:
“Someone like Amarnath would have been a better choice for the simple reason that the core of the Indian team today is from the Hindi-speaking belt.”
Sunny Gavaskar comments on the choice of Duncan Fletcher as coach of Team India.
What he meant:
“We all speak Hindi, don’t we? And Mohinder definitely does. Besides, Amarnath’s not a joker.”
What he definitely didn’t:
“We need Hindi speaking coaches to teach our boys the choicest abuses while sledging the opposition that are not easily expressed in any other language.Actually, that’s Punjabi but I could never tell the difference.And neither can they.”
Guidelines introduced for Pakistani cricketers’ agents (Satire)
(With apologies to the Express Tribune)
Bookies and ‘matka’ kings in India have reacted swiftly to the guidelines introduced by the Pakistan Cricket Board for agents of cricketers.
Steps have been taken to nullify every step taken by the Pakistani cricketing body, by simply mirroring the PCB’s moves.
“PCB has now made it mandatory for all agents to get themselves registered with it”
—The Association of Bookies and Matka Kings (ABMK) have made it mandatory for agents to get themselves registered with them—unofficially, of course.
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