job

Andy Roddick: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

What he said:

“I’m convinced being a tennis analyst is the easiest job in the world. Because whatever the person does, if it works, you just say, ‘That’s what’s good,’ and if it doesn’t work, you guys just go, ‘He should have done the other thing.’ I’m pretty convinced that I could be a tennis analyst when I’m done."

Andy Roddick, take a bow. The 2003 US Open champion launched into a tirade against tennis analysts, terming them arm-chair experts.

Roddick claimed:

“It just doesn’t take much thought. If I’m grinding, and I’m winning, you guys are like, ‘He’s reinvented himself,’ and if I’m playing like crap and pushing, it’s, you know, ‘He’s horrible and needs to hit the ball.’ Everybody’s an expert, but I’m better than most of them have been."

Nobody’s arguing with the former champion. Very few analysts have won Slams or as many tournaments as Roddick has.

Hats off for telling it like it is.

What he really meant:

“Sports analysis is easy. You’re right if the player’s wrong. You’re still right if the player’s not.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“I’m done reading my copy of ‘How To Take Criticism With a Smile’. I’d love to lend it to you guys—now (that I’ve had my say).”

Graeme Swann: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

What he said:

“I don’t think I could still be the light-hearted, piss-taking guy if I was in a position of authority.”

Graeme Swann prefers not being in a position of responsibility. He did not apply for the job of England skipper because he’d rather have fun on and off the field.

What he really meant:

“You know when you’re skipper you have to be this diplomatic guy careful not to hurt anyone’s feelings.Well, that’s not me.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“Being skipper is a bed of roses. You don’t have to take piss.”

Andy Flower: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

What he said:

“So his job is not to rough up the opposition. It is not to be this ridiculous enforcer.”

Andy Flower feels that Stuart Broad should reinvent himself for the series against India. He ought to be more than just a bounder who bounces out the opposition.

What he really meant:

“Enforcer? What kind of trash talk is that? Cricket is a gentleman’s game.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“’Stuart the Enforcer’ had a great ring to it.”

Darren Sammy: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

What he said:

“The best man who walked the face of the earth never did anything wrong, but he was still crucified. And I am nowhere close to that.”

It cannot be said that Darren Sammy is unaware of his tenuous position in the West Indian cricketing squad.

What he really meant:

“I’m skipper. Crucify me. It’s expected. It comes with the job.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“It’s not a paying post.”

Kevin Pietersen: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

What he said:

“We realise you guys have got a job to do, and if I give you ammunition you’re going to fire the gun.”

Kevin Pietersen concedes it is the press’ prerogative to criticise if he does not perform as expected. He, however, challenges the perception that he is vulnerable to left-arm spin.

What he really meant:

“The sporting press feeds off the players. If the players achieve, they’re demi-gods, virtually untouchable. If they do not, they’re worse than pariahs, to be torn down.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“You—the press—were firing blanks at me. It didn’t hurt—at all.”

Graeme Swann: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

What he said:

“I was getting paid to play crosswords, having tea brought to me and having my every whim taken care of. It was brilliant.”

Graeme Swann, ruminating on the perks , believes that representing England in cricket is the best job in the world.

What he really meant:

“I’m grateful I’m a cricketer, not a typical nine-to-fiver.I’m really spoilt.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“I’m pitching cricket—as a profession.”

Andrew Hilditch: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

What he said:

“I’ll just keep doing it until someone wants me to stop.”

Andrew Hilditch, national chairman of Australian selectors, intends to continue as long as possible.

What he really meant:

“Are you telling me, someone wants this job???”

What he definitely didn’t:

“Cricket Australia and I are wedded for life.”

Shoaib Akhtar: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

“I don’t believe in teamwork; give me a team that works!”

Shoaib Akhtar asserts that it’s his favourite quote.

What he really meant:

“Teamwork is about doing your job and allowing,ensuring and facilitating your teammates to do theirs well or better.”

“Everyone works but not all pull in the same direction.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“’Working in Teams’ —That’s the next stop on my motivational speeches tour.”

ICC ODI World Cup 2011: Ode To Kenya, Just a summer of 69?

Image via Wikipedia

(Sung by Steve Tikolo and his band of miserly men to the tune of Bryan Adams’ Summer of 69)

We got no real sixes
Bought it against a Kiwi side

Tried to bat but we just bled

Was the summer of 69
Me and the guys from Kenya
Obanda six and Tikolo a brace

Shoulda known we’d never get far

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