shane warne

Shane Warne’s comeuppance: Who the blazes is Sanjay Dixit?

Who the blazes is Sanjay Dixit?

Very few cricket fans could have bothered to discover who Shane Warne’s bete-noire was.

Twittering masses have focused on heaping invective on the Rajasthan administrator for his role in making the legendary leg-spinner eat humble pie.

A hefty fine of $50,000 was slapped on the ace cricketer for losing his cool and terming the IAS officer“egotistic” and “a liar”.

Shane Warne’s ‘breach of IPL contract’ exposed (Satire)

MUMBAI—

That Shane Warne was fined for “a serious breach of his IPL playing contract” is today’s old news.

MakeTimeForSports managed to get the inside story behind the $50,000 fine imposed on the temperamental spinner.

Sources inform us that the contract states that Shane Warne would render services to Rajasthan Royals in his capacity as a cricketer i.e. bowling, batting and fielding.

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What he said, really meant and definitely didn’t: Sanjay Dixit

What he said:

“Warnie, to me, was the tortured romantic, a Van Gogh-like figure almost, or the Guru Dutt of Kagaz ke Phool.”

Sanjay Dixit, Rajasthan Cricket Association’s secretary on Shane Warne in an article on Yahoo! Cricket.

What he really meant:

“Warne is a genius with a self-destructive streak.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“I’m a huge fan.”

Cricket: Musings on WI-Pak,SL Premier League and IPL rumbles

Another batch of random thoughts, in no particular order (are random thoughts ever sequenced?):

West Indies beat Pakistan in the first Test match. The most laughable captain in world cricket, Darren Sammy, comes up trumps claiming a fifer as the Caribbean side wins an encounter between unpredictable “a-bit-more-than-minnows”.

Devendra Bishoo and Saeed Ajmal impress. Ajmal gets eleven but ends up on the losing side.

Shivnarine Chanderpaul lets his bat do the talking. Walking the talk? Certainly.

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Shane Warne: Smoke Gets In Our Eyes

HUMOR — It was all going swimmingly well for Shane Warne until it all went terribly wrong.

The Royals began IPL 2011 reminding supporters of 2008 glory. Then, “Dame” Elizabeth Hurley flew in from London to join the champion bowler. RR lost not a game at home.

But then, alas, Liz left for London sweeping away with her Warney’s luck.

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What he said,really meant and definitely didn’t: Shane Warne

What he said:

“It is like the past, you can’t change what happened in the past. If I thought about what happened in my past I could be in a straightjacket and padded cell somewhere.”

Shane Warne on his attitude coaching the Rajasthan Royals , focusing on what he has rather than what he hasn’t.

What he really meant:

“You can only do things with what you have, not with stuff you don’t. You don’t have that stuff anyway, why worry about it? You could go nuts.”

“The past is writ in stone; today’s the clay for tomorrow’s masterpiece.”

“Simply put, do make do!”

What he definitely didn’t:

“I deserve to be in a straightjacket and padded cell.”

“It’s just not spinning balls I’m good at, yarns too! Yeah, I’m no Mahatma, though!”

Shilpa Shetty loses her mobile phone: The real story

Rahul Gandhi and the SMS Pitch (Satire)

JAIPUR—

Sources within the Congress(I) and the BCCI have—in confidence—revealed that the real reason Rahul Gandhi is in police custody is because the Rajasthan Cricket Association (RCA) is miffed with the Congress’ General Secretary and are considering charging him with damaging the Sawai Mansingh cricket pitch.

It is understood that Rahul Gandhi wished to get a feel for farming before he launched his campaign supporting UP farmers. He believed that doing some ‘fielding’ on his own would lend authenticity to the Congress’ support.

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Ten labours on Shane Warne’s To-Do list, post IPL 2011 (Humour)

Ten things that Shane Warne can do once he retires from the IPL:

1. Marry Elizabeth Hurley.
2. Coach or mentor the Rajasthan Royals (But, of course).
3. Commentate (Obviously).
4. Pen another autobiography. His first one’s titled “Shane Warne: My autobiography".
5. Model and endorse Estee Lauder products.
6. Write an agony aunt column on dating, breaking-up and re-dating.Advice on Twitter as a dating tool included.
7. Act (in a Bollywood blockbuster co-starring Shilpa Shetty).
8. Run the Big Bash Down Under.
9. Represent Australia once more. (Come on, there’s no one even close to Warney
   in the pipeline.)
10. Play 888 Poker.

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Quote of the day:
Arithmetic is being able to count up to twenty without taking off your shoes. – Mickey Mouse

Weekend Cricket Diary: Chanderpaul,Pataudi and the IPL

29th April, 2011:

WICB chief Ernest Hilaire’s comments about the West Indian team hit a raw nerve—Shivnarine Chanderpaul’s.

When he termed the West Indian cricketers of the past 15 years as lacking application and discipline, he overlooked the chip on Chanderpaul’s shoulder.

The Guyanese bat of Indian origin who uncomplainingly carried Windies hopes, oft receiving less than his share of glory—overshadowed first by Brian Lara and later Chris Gayle—, came out strongly in a letter addressed to Hilaire .

Questioning the use of ‘we’ in his interview, the Guyanese asked him, “Are you speaking for yourself, albeit as CEO of the West Indies Cricket Board or are you speaking for and on behalf of the West Indies Cricket Board itself?”

Chanderpaul threatened to take whatever action necessary to safeguard his reputation.

The boot is truly on the other foot.

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