test cricket

Kapil Dev: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

What he said:

"Dhoni has made mockery of Test cricket by bowling (himself).”

Kapil Dev is less-than-enthused over Mahendra Singh Dhoni’s decision to be the spare bowler in Zaheer Khan’s absence due to a hamstring injury in the first Test at Lords.

What he really meant:

“First he took away my glory at being India’s only World Cup winning captain, now he wants to bowl medium-pace as well. Where will he stop?”

What he definitely didn’t:

“Dhoni da jawab nahin.”

Coca Cola cans Sachin Tendulkar for fans and posterity

Sachin Tendulkar’s 100th ton will be celebrated with his image on the side of 6.5 million Coke cans within the next fortnight.

Canning it for posterity, indeed.

The master batsman will be smiling back at you and your friends when you pep up the moment from those special tins when he reaches that special milestone.

This is a first for Coca Cola, India. No celebrity picture has decorated a Coke canister in the sub-continent. Ever.

Nine other distinguished moments have been selected to be painted on the sides of the special edition beverage.

Coking a snook at the competition, for sure.

2.145 million litres lauding an epoch-making moment in Test cricket.

Another 800,000 cans will be released eulogizing his 100th international hundred.

Definitely a whole lot of tonnage.

Quote of the day:
When I’m working on a problem, I never think about beauty. I think only how to solve the problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong. – R. Buckminster Fuller

India cricket: Closing out games, a matter of intent, not skill

If you don’t play to win, can you triumph?

The Indian team, in the 3rd Test, accepted a tame draw instead of grasping a victory within reach.

Much has been said and written about the Indian batting line-up’s unwillingness to take up the challenge of scoring 180 runs in 47 overs.

Not much has been made of the Indian bowling’s lack of incisiveness and penetration when they should have gone for the kill. The last five West Indian wickets added 121 runs between them.

The Indian and international press have unflinchingly condemned the No.1 team’s tactics.

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Cricket:Mamparas,”hee for chasey” and natural replacements

Cricket lovers have Graeme Smith to thank for enriching their vocabulary last weekend.

The South African Test skipper was “Mampara Of the Week”—selected by the nation’s leading daily, The Sunday Times. It is a moniker reserved for politicians and businessmen but ‘Biff’ trumped all contenders last week with his “wishy-washy apology” to the South African public for his side’s early exit at this year’s ODI World Cup in India.

Mamapara roughly translates to “idiot”. I must admit—“You b****y Mampara” has a nice ring to it.

Sachin Tendulkar—in the sunset of his career—is an inspiration to older cricketers. Simon Katich is the latest to pay obeisance. The West Australian cricketer—in his press conference—slammed Greg Chappell ,rightly questioning his credentials as a selector as he pointed out his inability to predict the master bat’s recent heights.

“Elder cricketers of the world, unite. You have nothing to lose but bad selectors.”

Rushing to Katich’s defence  was minister of defence for the realm, Stephen Smith. Australian politicians love their cricket and their cricketers.

“If he’s not in the top 25 Australian cricketers – and I can’t find one better opener than him on that list, let alone two – then I’ll go hee for chasey.” said the minister. An Aussie phrase learned here—take note,English language lovers.

The West Indians have been shafted once more. Zaheer Khan and S Sreesanth have opted out of the India-WI Test series citing injuries. Indian fans don’t seem to care. The boys in blue have ratcheted up wins—rising to the occasion. Who’s to say that Praveen Kumar and Abhimanyu Mithun won’t?

The trio of Rohit Sharma, Suresh Raina and Virat Kohli seem natural replacements for RahulDravid,Sachin Tendulkar and VVS Laxman.

There’s oft a slip ‘twixt the cup and the lip, though.

Remember the dynamic duo of Yuvraj Singh and Mohammad Kaif?

Kaif languishes in the minor leagues of domestic cricket whereas Yuvraj "blundered" from strength to strength.

ODI success does not instinctively translate to Test level. Yuvraj Singh will testify.

Quote of the day:
Anything not worth doing is worth not doing well. Think about it. – Elias Schwartz

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Randomly setting off cricketing (and non-cricketing) fires

A few random thoughts:

We are into the second day of the Lords’s Test between Sri Lanka and England. The home side leads 1-0 following a devastating collapse by the Lankans on the last day of a boring first Test. We don’t need T20 if we can have wickets falling like nine-pins in less than an hour.

Now, if only we had a way of figuring out which session of a Test match will have all the excitement. I’d buy season tickets.

The evening of the final days’s play in the first Test was also an occasion to trot out over-used clichés about the game:

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From the English to the Lankans, ‘Come as you are’ (Humour)

David Lloyd, in the Independent, remarked thus: “England’s first series since the Ashes euphoria of four months ago may feel more like a ‘come as you are’ street party than a suited-and-booted city pageant.”

The comment was directed at the up-coming tour of England by Sri Lanka.

Bumble was, of course, referring to the current state of unrest in Sri Lankan cricket; a change of captain and vice-captain, the resignation of the selection committee, the retirement of Lasith Malinga from Test cricket and the lure of the IPL putting paid to plans of a training camp before the team embarked on the series.

The English team would be well-advised to welcome the tourists with this Nirvana song, penned by Kurt Cobain.

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Simon Taufel, Asad Rauf and Kumar Dharmasena retire from Test cricket (Satire)

Elite umpires, Simon Taufel and Asad Rauf, and International Umpire Kumar Dharmasena have announced their retirement from Test cricket with immediate effect.

The umpires complain of fatigue in the longer version of the game.

“Standing for 6 hours or more for five consecutive days and having to focus on every ball is extremely taxing for body and mind.” said Simon Taufel.

Sachin Ramesh Tendulkar scores his 100th ton in book cricket (Satire)

The 16th of April, 2011 will remain a red letter day for Sachin Ramesh Tendulkar.

It is the day he scored his 100th international century in book cricket.

The master batsman believes that this is a good omen. All his tons in international cricket have been preceded by equivalent tons in book cricket.

“Book cricket is a sport I have indulged in since I was a little boy.” says the Little Master.

McCullum keeps India at bay with classy double: Second Test drawn

Image via Wikipedia

The second Test match at Hyderabad ended as a damp squib as well.

There were many who considered the tourists easy meat coming into the Test series. The New Zealand batsmen obviously had other thoughts.

Except for the first innings here when they collapsed after a healthy start, they have made the Indian bowlers labour hard for their wickets. They have not let the home side buy their wickets cheap.

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Laxman and Bhajji hold the fort: First Test against Kiwis peters to a draw

The first Test match between the Black Caps and India petered out to a tame draw.The great escape was engineered by two intrepid saviours,VVS Laxman and Harbhajan Singh.

The New Zealanders would surely have hoped to end the Indian innings early this morning but much as Vettori and Martin tried, the experienced duo of Laxman and Harbhajan would not let anything get past them.

The Black Caps, however, let a couple of half-chances go a-begging.

Once the first session was seen through without further loss of wickets, it was a matter for conjecture if Dhoni’s men would choose to continue batting or declare early to try and force a win.The Indian think-tank decided against an early declaration; discretion is the better part of valour.

Laxman and Harbhajan rode into the 90’s in contrasting styles; Laxman —calm and self-assured— radiating confidence and Harbhajan treating his time in the middle as a lark in the park ,with mighty swipes at the spinners.

Both batters looked good for tons but Laxman was undone by a terrible decision by umpire Davis given out leg before off an inside edge. Zaheer followed him back to the pavilion — out off the next ball — and the Kiwi captain was on a hat-trick that was not to be.