In another blow to Shahid Afridi’s hopes of returning to the Pakistani cricket team, the team management made public a team psychiatrist’s report on the dashing all-rounder.
Mr. Gind Mames, a consulting psychotherapist, said that the former Pakistani ODI skipper is overly influenced by sports persons who have retired from their sport only to return in another attempt to regain youthful glory.
“Afridi is a huge fan of Michael Jordan, Michael Schumacher, Bjorn Borg, Imran Khan,George Foreman and Martina Navratilova, among others.” said Mr. Mames.
“He believes that statements of retirement from the game are revocable any time.” added Mames.
The psychiatrist has recommended remedial therapy for the mental affliction. He has suggested that the ace cricketer read biographies of model cricketers such as Sunil Gavaskar and Kapil Dev, who left the game never to return as players. Other sports persons for recommended emulation include Don Bradman.
“Unfortunately, the list of modern-day cricketers who quit the game never to return has dwindled in recent times. The lure of IPL has forced cricketers out of retirement setting bad role models for current cricketers.” said Mr. Gind Mames.
The PCB has dispatched the psychiatrist’s report to the Pakistani President, Mr. Asif Ali Zardari.
When informed that the Pakistani President will study his report, Mr, Mames remarked,”I am not sure that it is a good idea. Everyone knows that politicians never retire.They, too, suffer from a similar affliction—a more severe variety.”
(All facts and “quotes” are made up, but you knew that already, didn’t you?)
Quote of the day:
Against logic there is no armor like ignorance. – Laurence J. Peter