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Lalit Modi, Shashi Tharoor short-listed for IOA presidency (Satire)
Following the arrest of Suresh Kalmadi by the Central Bureau of Investigation (CBI), the Indian Olympic Association (IOA) are frantically looking out for a successor to the high profile minister.
Two names have been short-listed.
The first is former IPL commissioner Lalit Modi who is currently in London.
The other name bandied about is former Minister of External Affairs, Shashi Tharoor.
Sachin Tendulkar named Sathya Sai Baba’s successor (Satire)
In his will discovered late last evening, Sri Sathya Sai Baba has anointed Sachin Tendulkar as his successor.
The master batsman has been named the sole beneficiary in the godman’s last testament.
The codicil states: “I have always been a huge fan of Sachin. He is a God to millions of Indians, just like I am. He has devotees cutting across state lines and so do I. He does not need money and neither did I.”
SRK, KKR and Kajol, Rani and Bipasha at the IPL (Humour)
Shah Rukh Khan is at the end of his tether.
Nothing, absolutely nothing, will convince Dada fans that SRK loves Sourav Ganguly (and Bengalis) and that’s why he let him go.
Slashing the price of tickets for forthcoming KKR games has not quite had the desired effect as evidenced by fan reaction on the team web-site.
What they said and what they definitely didn’t mean: Siddharth Mallya
What he said:
“It is like a sugar-free candy bar. Because it does the same thing. It tastes the same. But then there is always that one thing that’s missing.”
Siddharth Mallya on the IPL without Lalit Modi.
What he meant:
“Lalit Modi’s the sugar missing from the IPL candy bar.”
What he definitely didn’t mean:
“Lalit Modi’s my sugar daddy.”
Simon Taufel, Asad Rauf and Kumar Dharmasena retire from Test cricket (Satire)
Elite umpires, Simon Taufel and Asad Rauf, and International Umpire Kumar Dharmasena have announced their retirement from Test cricket with immediate effect.
The umpires complain of fatigue in the longer version of the game.
“Standing for 6 hours or more for five consecutive days and having to focus on every ball is extremely taxing for body and mind.” said Simon Taufel.
Dimitri Mascarenhas selected for game versus Middlesex by SL (Satire)
In a surprise move, Farveez Maharoof and Dimitri Mascarenhas have been named in the Sri Lankan squad that plays Middlesex at Uxbridge from May 14-16, 2011 in the first warm-up game of the tour.
While Maharoof is currently contracted out to Lancashire, the naming of Mascarenhas has come like a ‘bolt out of the blue’.
Guidelines introduced for Pakistani cricketers’ agents (Satire)
(With apologies to the Express Tribune)
Bookies and ‘matka’ kings in India have reacted swiftly to the guidelines introduced by the Pakistan Cricket Board for agents of cricketers.
Steps have been taken to nullify every step taken by the Pakistani cricketing body, by simply mirroring the PCB’s moves.
“PCB has now made it mandatory for all agents to get themselves registered with it”
—The Association of Bookies and Matka Kings (ABMK) have made it mandatory for agents to get themselves registered with them—unofficially, of course.
Bruce Wayne aka Batman sues the BCCI (Satire)
Bruce Wayne aka Batman flew in to Mumbai, the other day on a fact-finding misison.
“Tell me,” he asked the cabbie hailed at Sahar airport, “what is this cricket and IPL all about?”
The cabbie looked at him incredulously.
Liz Hurley and Sakshi Dhoni promote WAGS IPL (Satire)
Quick on the heels of Anjum Chopra’s request to the BCCI to hold an IPL for women cricketers, the premier sports administrative body in the country received another appeal— this time for an IPL constituting wives and girlfriends (WAGS) of cricketers.
The move is spearheaded by Australian spinner Shane Warne’s current love interest, Elizabeth Hurley and MS Dhoni’s wife, Sakshi.
What they said, meant and definitely didn’t: A B De Villiers
What he said:
“I really can’t pin-point anything that we are doing wrong except for bad fielding, bad bowling and bad batting.”
A.B. De Villiers on the problems with the Royal Challengers Bangalore team.
What he meant:
“We’re not playing cricket, really!”
What he definitely didn’t:“It was a team dare. Can we play worse than the television experts comment? I guess, we did.”
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Make Time For Sports. 