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Nita Ambani to utilize Wankhede boxes to host RIL AGMs (Satire)
Reliance Industries and Aditya Birla group will host their annual general meetings (AGMs) and extraordinary general meetings (EGMs) at the newly renovated Wankhede stadium from 2011 onwards.
“For the next 10 years, shareholder meetings will be held at the cricket stadium. You see, Mukesh Ambani wishes to make optimum utilization of his three boxes secured from the Mumbai Cricket Association (MCA).” said Mr. Phanketilal Patel, Mukesh Ambani’s closest chamcha.
The meetings will be conducted at the stadium to ensure that the most people can be accommodated.
What they said and what they definitely didn’t mean: Shane Warne
What he said:
“New Estee Lauder moisturisers for my skin have made a big difference.”
Shane Warne on his new rejuvenated appearance.
What he definitely didn’t mean or say:
“It’s better than using old-fashioned Vaseline on the ball. It’s two for the price of one.”
“They’re actually borrowed from Liz (Hurley). I feel I need it more than her.”
“Estee Lauder have requested me to be their product spokesperson. (At least, not yet.)”
“I can’t say I’m looking older, can I? Never turn away a compliment, my mother always told me.”
Related articles
Saina Nehwal talks to Sania Mirza about skirting an issue (Satire)
Sania Mirza woke up late last evening to a call on her mobile.
Ms. Saina Nehwal, India’s ace shuttler, was on the other end.
“Sania didi, I need your help. It’s urgent.”
“Hey Saina, how are you? How’s it going? Congratulations on your Swiss Grand Prix win.”
“Thank you. Thank you very much.”
Jose Mourinho will stay silent to Real Madrid journalists (Satire)
Jose Mourinho, enfant terrible, has been disciplined for his extraordinary press conference following Real Madrid’s 1-1 draw against Barcelona on April 16, 2011.
The fiery coach completely ignored Madrid journalists and answered questions only from Barcelona-accredited reporters and members of the international press.
Sachin Ramesh Tendulkar scores his 100th ton in book cricket (Satire)
The 16th of April, 2011 will remain a red letter day for Sachin Ramesh Tendulkar.
It is the day he scored his 100th international century in book cricket.
The master batsman believes that this is a good omen. All his tons in international cricket have been preceded by equivalent tons in book cricket.
“Book cricket is a sport I have indulged in since I was a little boy.” says the Little Master.
What they said and what they definitely didn’t mean: Tamim Iqbal
What he said:
Tamim Iqbal on being selected to the Lords’ honour board.
“I was the happiest man in the world, happier than Bill Gates!”
What he definitely didn’t mean:
“I’m richer than Bill Gates.”
Indian teams for lagori,kho-kho,gilli-danda etc. cleared for Pakistan tours (Satire)
Gilani and Manmohan Singh will be in attendance at all the games
In the wake of the Indian government’s decision to resume cricketing ties with Pakistan, the sports ministry has decided to go ahead and clear a slew of sporting tours between the two nations over the next few months.
Despite the removal of any barrier to bilateral series between the two neighbours, the cricketing calendar does not have any slots free until 2012.
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Make Time For Sports. 