humor

Rafael Nadal: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

What he said:

“I have almost 25 (years).But seems like I am playing for 100 years."

Rafael Nadal complains about the non-stop nature of the ATP tour.

What he really meant:

“The tour goes on and on and I feel really old, like a grandfather to you all.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“I want to play tennis professionally for a 100 years or more.”

Shahid Afridi asked to seek remedial therapy by PCB (Satire)

KARACHI—

In another blow to Shahid Afridi’s hopes of returning to the Pakistani cricket team, the team management made public a team psychiatrist’s report on the dashing all-rounder.

Mr. Gind Mames, a consulting psychotherapist, said that the former Pakistani ODI skipper is overly influenced by sports persons who have retired from their sport only to return in another attempt to regain youthful glory.

“Afridi is a huge fan of Michael Jordan, Michael Schumacher, Bjorn Borg, Imran Khan,George Foreman and Martina Navratilova, among others.” said Mr. Mames.

Harbhajan Singh: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

What he said:

“Not everyone gets to be raja [king], some have to be mantri [minister].”

Harbhajan Singh is not too worried on being overlooked for the Indian ODI captaincy.

What he really meant:

“You’ve never heard of Birbal, have you? I think I’m Birbal to Raina.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“Jodhaa Akbar.”

Shoaib Akhtar: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

“I don’t believe in teamwork; give me a team that works!”

Shoaib Akhtar asserts that it’s his favourite quote.

What he really meant:

“Teamwork is about doing your job and allowing,ensuring and facilitating your teammates to do theirs well or better.”

“Everyone works but not all pull in the same direction.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“’Working in Teams’ —That’s the next stop on my motivational speeches tour.”

Dominic Cork: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

What he said:

“I’m a bit like Sepp Blatter at the moment in Hampshire: crisis, what crisis?”

Dominic Cork compares himself and his county side, Hampshire, struggling at the bottom of Division One to embattled FIFA President, Sepp Blatter.

What he really meant:

“Of course, I’m not like Sepp. We’re miles apart but you wouldn’t quote me otherwise, would you?”

What he definitely didn’t:

“Corruption has spilled over onto the county scene.”

Stephane Robert: What he said,really meant and definitely did not

What he said:

“It’s just to say thank you to mother nature for being so nice to me and allowing me to produce such good shots. In those moments you have the feeling that you live in perfect harmony with the nature.”

Stephane Robert explains the ecstatic  kisses he blew to the sky during his shock victory over sixth seed Tomas Berdych.

What he really meant:

“I have to thank someone and I couldn’t blow kisses to just anyone in the stands. My girl-friend won’t understand.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“Next match, it’s the Tarzan costume for me.”

Roger Federer: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

“It was jogging shoes with jeans and a practice shirt, now I dress more accordingly to where I’m going and have started taking a joy in putting on suits. Maybe I have 25 or 35 [suits], I’m not sure. I think it’s important to offer something different to the fans and important you enjoy it, and I do.”

Roger Federer lets us know that his fashion sense has matured over the years together with his game and 16 majors.

What he really meant:

“Come on, folks, I have to spend all those dollars somewhere and why not on nice clothes? 35? Is that too much for a multi-millionaire?”

What he definitely didn’t:

“The stuff I wear on court are all gratis, anyway.”

Novak Djokovic: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

What he said:

“Walkover from Fognini. Bad luck for him, hope he recovers fast. Today I get to enjoy Paris in a different way :-)”

Djokovic marks his progress to the quarter-finals with a celebratory tweet.

What he really meant:

“Party time, pals!”

What he definitely didn’t:

“Let’s pay old Foggy a visit with some flowers.”

 

Rafael Nadal: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

What he said:

“I’m not playing well enough to win this tournament.”

Defending champion Rafael Nadal feels a bit off-key as gets into the final stretch of the French Open.

What he really meant:

“But then, so are six others. It’s all relative.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“Oh what’s winning got to do, got to do with it
What’s winning but a second hand emotion
What’s winning got to do, got to do with it
Who needs one more French Open
When my legs are creaky and broken.”

Rob Steen: What he said, really meant and definitely did not