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What he said, really meant and definitely didn’t: Adam Gilchrist
What he said:
“He’s come of age I think, and I have just aged. I have never been hit on my head before. “
Adam Gilchrist reacts to being hit on the side of the head by a Lasith Malinga bouncer.
What he really meant:
“If I cannot out of the way of a bouncer anymore, I am surely getting older.”
What he definitely didn’t:
“I’ve been appointed by Puma to test their helmets. Lasith, have another go on the fresh one.”
“For my team’s owner, Preity Zinta and her wonderful inspirational speech, I’ll take all the hits, Malinga!”
BCCI’s precautions against unsavoury characters for WI and England tours (Satire)
Following reports in the media of unsavoury characters loitering and hanging around Indian cricketers in South Africa at IPL2, the BCCI has decided to take precautionary measures against a repetition of such incidents on the forthcoming West Indies and England tours.
Upon receiving a list of shady personas from the CBI, the BCCI has begun interviewing ‘candidates’.
The administrative cricketing body believes that if there are to be any ‘crooked’ folks surrounding the Indian players, they should come pre-approved by the BCCI.
IPL, more random thoughts: Virender Sehwag, Lasith Malinga and Sreesanth
More random thoughts on the IPL:
The debate of ‘club over country’ should be put to rest , at least when it comes to Indian players.
Virender Sehwag will miss the rest of the IPL due to a shoulder injury he has been carrying for the past one year. He should have been allowed to take a break after the World Cup but his IPL masters would have been displeased. So Viru hoists the Delhi Daredevils until he can carry them no more.
Delhi Daredevils are no longer in the reckoning for a playoff spot.
No ‘butcher’ for the West Indies tour and perhaps half the English tour.
‘Book-fixing’ hits inter-school book cricket competition (Satire)
MUMBAI—
The spectre of ‘book-fixing’ raised its ugly head at the annual inter-school ‘book cricket’ competition last Sunday, the 8th of May 2011.
The school championship , over the years, has been dominated by Shuddersharam English Medium School and Potter High School.
This year, it was no different.
The final saw familiar antagonists confronting each other.
What he said, really meant and definitely didn’t: Paul Collingwood
What he said:
“So when Geoff Miller told me, it was like a juggernaut had come along at full steam and completely wiped me out … just disbelief.”
Paul Collingwood on his axing as England’s T20 captain.
What he really meant:
“I’m shell-shocked and steaming.”
What he definitely didn’t:
“I’m gonna find out how a juggernaut runs on steam engines.”
What he said, really meant and definitely didn’t: Tillakaratne Dilshan
What he said:
“Next season I’ll need a bullet-proof chest pad as Gayle is hitting them like a rocket.”
Tillakaratne Dilshan on Chris Gayle’s blazing form for Royal Challengers Bangalore and how he’s enjoying the close-up view.
What he really meant:
“The way Gayle’s playing, I’m safer in the pod.”
What he definitely didn’t:
“If I get the bullet-proof chest guard, I’m touring Pakistan.”
What he said, really meant and definitely didn’t: Rohit Sharma
What he said:
“”I don’t want to think too much about that. I am taking one thing at a time. I just want to concentrate on theIPL. I want to win the trophy for Mumbai. By thinking too much you just confuse yourself.”
Rohit Sharma claiming that he is not thinking of an India cap yet.
What he really meant:
“If I play well, then I can expect an India call, but why count my chickens before they’ve hatched? It’ll be like putting the cart before the horse.”
What he definitely didn’t:
“I don’t think.”
What he said, really meant and definitely didn’t: Geoffrey Boycott
What he said:
“We made some appalling selections in India and our team did not look like they could win an egg cup let alone the World Cup.”
Geoffrey Boycott making it clear that England needs to take a hard, bold look at their approach in the shorter format of the game.
What he really meant:
“The English team at the World Cup were pathetically inconsistent. I threw in that egg cup bit to bolster my point.”
What he definitely didn’t:
“I’ll coach this team into winning at croquet and lacrosse.As a bonus, I’ll teach them to putt into an egg cup from six yards.”
Ten labours on Shane Warne’s To-Do list, post IPL 2011 (Humour)
Ten things that Shane Warne can do once he retires from the IPL:
-
Marry Elizabeth Hurley.
-
Coach or mentor the Rajasthan Royals (But, of course).
-
Commentate (Obviously).
-
Pen another autobiography. His first one’s titled “Shane Warne: My autobiography".
-
Model and endorse Estee Lauder products.
-
Write an agony aunt column on dating, breaking-up and re-dating.Advice on Twitter as a dating tool included.
-
Act (in a Bollywood blockbuster co-starring Shilpa Shetty).
-
Run the Big Bash Down Under.
-
Represent Australia once more. (Come on, there’s no one even close to Warney
in the pipeline.) -
Play 888 Poker.
Quote of the day:
Arithmetic is being able to count up to twenty without taking off your shoes. – Mickey Mouse
Anjum Chopra appointed coach of Indian T20 team (Satire)
Taking a cue from the English Cricket Board (ECB), the Board For Cricket Control in India (BCCI) appointed Anjum Chopra coach of the Indian T20 men’s team.
“The English have been very innovative lately. They stole a march on us by appointing three different captains. We had to do something.This is how we regain the initiative.” said Mr. Ratnakar Shetty, BCCI head of operations.
“It also makes for good PR to have a woman coach at the highest level.” added Mr. Shashank Manohar, BCCI President.
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Make Time For Sports. 