Stories

IPL, more random thoughts: Virender Sehwag, Lasith Malinga and Sreesanth

More random thoughts on the IPL:

The debate of ‘club over country’ should be put to rest , at least when it comes to Indian players.

Virender Sehwag will miss the rest of the IPL due to a shoulder injury he has been carrying for the past one year. He should have been allowed to take a break after the World Cup but his IPL masters would have been displeased. So Viru hoists the Delhi Daredevils until he can carry them no more.

Delhi Daredevils are no longer in the reckoning for a playoff spot.

No ‘butcher’ for the West Indies tour and perhaps half the English tour.

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‘Book-fixing’ hits inter-school book cricket competition (Satire)

MUMBAI—

The spectre of ‘book-fixing’ raised its ugly head at the annual inter-school ‘book cricket’ competition last Sunday, the 8th of May 2011.

The school championship , over the years, has been dominated by Shuddersharam English Medium School and Potter High School.

This year, it was no different.

The final saw familiar antagonists confronting each other.

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What he said, really meant and definitely didn’t: Paul Collingwood

What he said:

“So when Geoff Miller told me, it was like a juggernaut had come along at full steam and completely wiped me out … just disbelief.”

Paul Collingwood on his axing as England’s T20 captain.

What he really meant:

“I’m shell-shocked and steaming.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“I’m gonna find out how a juggernaut runs on steam engines.”

What he said, really meant and definitely didn’t: Tillakaratne Dilshan

What he said, really meant and definitely didn’t: Rohit Sharma

What he said, really meant and definitely didn’t: Geoffrey Boycott

What he said:

“We made some appalling selections in India and our team did not look like they could win an egg cup let alone the World Cup.”

Geoffrey Boycott making it clear that England needs to take a hard, bold look at their approach in the shorter format of the game.

What he really meant:

“The English team at the World Cup were pathetically inconsistent. I threw in that egg cup bit to bolster my point.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“I’ll coach this team into winning at croquet and lacrosse.As a bonus, I’ll teach them to putt into an egg cup from six yards.”

Ten labours on Shane Warne’s To-Do list, post IPL 2011 (Humour)

Ten things that Shane Warne can do once he retires from the IPL:

1. Marry Elizabeth Hurley.
2. Coach or mentor the Rajasthan Royals (But, of course).
3. Commentate (Obviously).
4. Pen another autobiography. His first one’s titled “Shane Warne: My autobiography".
5. Model and endorse Estee Lauder products.
6. Write an agony aunt column on dating, breaking-up and re-dating.Advice on Twitter as a dating tool included.
7. Act (in a Bollywood blockbuster co-starring Shilpa Shetty).
8. Run the Big Bash Down Under.
9. Represent Australia once more. (Come on, there’s no one even close to Warney
   in the pipeline.)
10. Play 888 Poker.

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Quote of the day:
Arithmetic is being able to count up to twenty without taking off your shoes. – Mickey Mouse

Anjum Chopra appointed coach of Indian T20 team (Satire)

Taking a cue from the English Cricket Board (ECB), the Board For Cricket Control in India (BCCI) appointed Anjum Chopra coach of the Indian T20 men’s team.

“The English have been very innovative lately. They stole a march on us by appointing three different captains. We had to do something.This is how we regain the initiative.” said Mr. Ratnakar Shetty, BCCI head of operations.

“It also makes for good PR to have a woman coach at the highest level.” added Mr. Shashank Manohar, BCCI President.

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What he said, meant and what he definitely didn’t: Shah Rukh Khan

What he said:

“Dada is my favourite player. But we need to move on. I wish him all the best with Pune Warriors and hope that he does really well.”

Shah Rukh Khan making it clear that KKR don’t need Saurav Ganguly’s services.

What he meant:

“Now if Ganguly would have done a few more promotions with me, everything would have been hunky-dory.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“In Chak De II, I’m playing the coach again and Dada’s the captain of the team.”

Cricket Diary : Shivnarine Chanderpaul, Hashan Tillakaratne and ‘Dada’ Saurav Ganguly

2nd May, 2011

Shivnarine Chanderpaul continues to raise a ruckus about his axing from the West Indian side.

In a second letter to West Indies Cricket Board (WICB) Ernest Hilaire, the batsman questions his dropping for the Pakistan tour of West Indies.

Hilaire had squarely blamed the West Indies Player Association (WIPA) for Chanderpaul’s outburst in his response to his earlier missive.

The Guyanese was quick to respond saying:

“I may not be Dr. Chanderpaul, but I have been a top-ranked international batsman and we have to be able to think critically under the most intense and stressful situations.

It is therefore distressing that you blame WIPA by implication, if not overtly, for my letter saying that WIPA was offering me "ill advice". You may not be aware but I have faced the best bowlers in the world in my career and I know how to counter-attack. Furthermore, I am my own man and would ask that you respect that!"

The West Indian bat raised issues on the mishandling of injuries by the administrative body.

Coming on the back of a controversial decision by Chris Gayle to play the IPL rather than represent the band of nations that is the West Indies, the episode paints a sorry picture of the state of Caribbean  cricket.

Chanderpaul may no longer  be a sprightly young man but he should be allowed to decided when to quit the game.

Chanderpaul rarely courted scandal in his distinguished career but the lackadaisical attitude of the powers-that-be raised his hackles.

This man will not go quietly into the night.