India

MS Dhoni: What he said, really meant and definitely didn’t

Mahendra Singh Dhoni couldn’t be spicier with his final words as Test captain.

What he said:

“Now, even PETA has said that you can’t cosmetically remove the tail.”

Responding to a scribe’s question, “Their (Australia’s) tail is like Hanuman’s. Yours is like a Doberman’s. That must be hurting your side,” India’s outgoing skipper replied:

“Now, even PETA has said that you can’t cosmetically remove the tail. It has been a big problem for us that we don’t have a genuine allrounder. We have tried to play six batsmen and five bowlers before, but then the tail becomes as long as a cow’s … Hopefully, if we can find an allrounder, the tail problem will be resolved. But the tail problem is really a big problem.”

The man who brought back the World Cup to India remarked thus when asked to compare the two whitewashes of 2011 and 2011-12:

“You die, you die; you don’t see which is a better way to die. You end your Test career, you end your Test career. You don’t see which is a better way to end your Test career.”

What he really meant:

“There’s nothing pleasing about the way the Indian tail disintegrates in the face of aggression. Nothing cosmetic about it for sure.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“The Indian tail proudly announces the formation of a new body, PETT—People for the Ethical Treatment of Tail-enders.”

MS Dhoni: What he said, really meant and definitely didn’t

MS Dhoni dries up the speculation.

What he said:

“Actually that was the case, Virat [Kohli] used a knife. He stabbed Shikhar [Dhawan], who just recovered out of that, then we pushed him to bat. These are all stories. Marvel, maybe Warner Bros or somebody should pick up this and make a nice movie out of it.”

Mahendra Singh Dhoni squashes rumours about a split in the dressing room and poked fun at tales about a fracas between Delhi mates Virat Kohli and Shikhar Dhawan.

He added:

“If somebody from the team has actually told you this, it’d be interesting if you could give us the name. Because his imagination is really brilliant and he should be working for one of the movie companies. He doesn’t deserve to be in our dressing room, because he has entirely created something that has not been there at all. Stuff like that makes good stories for the tabloid and maybe it helps them sell it. As far as the reality is concerned, there’s been nothing like that.”

What he really meant:

“Take a yarn and make it wilder; that’s in the realm of rumour, that’s in the realm of fiction. Fiction has no part to play in the Indian dressing room. “

What he definitely didn’t:

“Bloody Tales from the Dressing Room’ starring Virat and Shikhar ought to be the name of the film. I’ll play the narrator.”

MS Dhoni: What he said, really meant and definitely didn’t

MS Dhoni is all about setting an example for the children.

What he said:

“A lot of time we are asked what spirit of cricket is. What I feel is it is something you don’t want your kids to do when they are playing.”

Mahendra Singh Dhoni re-defines the spirit of cricket. The Indian skipper does not need the ICC definition that states that “cricket is always played in a truly sportsmanlike manner.”

Dhoni said:

“Till they are not abusing each other, and don’t cross the line, it(aggression) is fine. A lot of kids and elderly people also watch the game. A lot of time we are asked what spirit of cricket is. What I feel is it is something you don’t want your kids to do when they are playing.

If anything that is within the boundaries, within the guidelines of the game, I am happy with it. You also want a bit of aggression in the game because it provides entertainment to the spectators.”

What he really meant:

“You wouldn’t want your kids sledging you when you’re playing backyard or courtyard cricket, do you?”

What he definitely didn’t:

“It’s all part and parcel of the game. Kids should take to sledging like a fish to water.”

Virat Kohli: What he said, really meant and definitely didn’t

Virat Kohli is a pacific leader.

What he said:

“If I’m playing the peacemaker, you can imagine what was going on out there.”

Virat Kohli believes that he has discovered new-found maturity as the skipper of the Indian cricket squad. He was describing his reaction to frayed tempers on the fourth day of the first Test match at Adelaide.

India lost to Australia but not before taking the fight to their opponents.

Kohli scored the most runs by a player in his first match as skipper.

Kohli added:

“But I knew I was the captain and had to step in, otherwise things would have turned ugly. I think I am getting smarter and more mature with age… And with a little bit of captaincy, some grey hair as well. I realised I had to step in and calm things down.”

On his stint as skipper:

“I haven’t slept on all the five days. Honestly, I’ll have 12 more grey hairs in my beard now. But I enjoyed captaincy despite the result… We were going for the win, it didn’t happen. We had the right approach and we are not far away.”

What he really meant:

“I guess it’s a little like Donald Duck conducting Anger Management sessions.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“Set a hot-head to cool another.”

Virat Kohli: What he said, really meant and definitely didn’t

Virat Kohli does not mind being repeatedly out.

What he said:

“For me it doesn’t matter if I get out playing the same shot again and again, at least I am feeling clear and confident in the mind.”

Virat Kohli is back to his usual cocky self on recovering some semblance of form against the West Indies with a somewhat laboured fifty in the second ODI.

What he really meant:

“I could always eschew the shot, you know. At least, I’m not playing and missing. And hell, my batting’s sure missed by the team and the fans.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“Just like it doesn’t matter to me that the arm-chair critics keep harping on my relationship with Anushka Sharma. I am clear and confident in my mind about her.”

English: Anushka Sharma at a Band Baaja Baaraat press event (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Michael Kasprowicz: What he said, really meant and definitely didn’t

Michael Kasprowicz does know what pressure is.

What he said:

“What pressure does to you is make you doubt your skills.”

Former Australian fast bowler, Michael Kasprowicz, draws upon his cricketing acumen to chart up success in the business world. Kasprowicz is an MBA from the University of Queensland Business School in Brisbane and now Managing Director of advisory business, Venture India, which promotes business relations for Australian companies in India.

Kasprowicz said:

“I was first picked for Queensland at the age of 17, and had a cricketing career of 19 years. Throughout my career, I never looked for the easy option. I wanted to test myself out in something entirely different; hence I went and did the MBA.”

Kasprowicz adds:

“What I learnt from my career is something I’ll classify in my own 4 Ps—perceptions, dealing with pressure, appreciating that there’s pain and most importantly, possession, the thought that you are in charge of your own journey. In cricket, there are uncontrollables that can always influence decisions—the weather, the pitch, umpiring decisions. It doesn’t matter how well you prepare, quite often, they can dictate or change the result. That lesson in itself is the most important thing, because of the ownership of your journey, you’re not relying on anyone else. You can take control of what you’re doing.”

The pacer believes in adapting his skills to suit the conditions.

He said:

“In 2004, (when Australia won a Test series in India after 32 years), we sat down as a bowling group and decided that we had to change it around a bit. We could not be doing what we did at home and expect to do well as a unit. Businesses come to India and think what they’ve been doing normally would work here in India too. That’s not arrogance as much as it is naivety. You have to be flexible, adjustable and adaptable to the market here and also see what the consumers want.”

So how does Kasprowicz deal with losses?

He says:

“I’ll go back to my Ps, and this time deal with pressure. What pressure does to you is make you doubt your skills. When all of a sudden an organization or cricket association goes through a few losses, it’s almost like a major GFC (global financial crisis) where everyone starts doubting their skills and questions the way they’re doing it. From a sporting background, whenever you have a few losses, we have a performance review. It’s important to go back and draw the straw man again.

I know the Australians get a bad tag for being sledgers, but all that, when you break it down, is to make someone not think about the ball that’s coming down and to doubt their skills, that’s all there is. There are other ways to make them doubt their skills—through field placements or the Three Card Trick (keep a deep-square leg, making the batsman anticipate a short ball, when the bowler delivers a fuller ball). When you’re under pressure, when you’re having a few losses, trust your skills—the ones that got you there, and the ones you’re the best at, but also have the conviction to adjust those skills to suit the conditions.”

What he really meant:

“When you’re under pressure, you tend to doubt yourself and wonder if you should be doing things differently. If the skills are not ingrained, you tend to revert to older, more tried-and-tested methods instead of continuing with the newly learnt skills. That’s what pressure does, that’s what questioning yourself does to you.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“Pressure causes some people to shut down. And brings out the best in others. How’s that for a cliché? Or would you rather prefer, when the going gets tough, the tough get going.Over to you, Ravi (Shastri). “

Ian Chappell: What he said, really meant and definitely didn’t

Ian Chappell can walk, chew gum, gorge on spicy dishes and dispatch spin bowlers with appropriate disdain.

What he said:

“If you can walk and chew gum at the same time, then you can eat spicy food and also play spin bowling. The trick is to acquire a taste for the former and be taught the latter correctly at a young age.”

Former Australia skipper Ian Chappell is not convinced by Justin Langer’s specious explanation that playing spin is like eating chilli. One has to develop an appetite for it at an impressionable age to relish it.

Chappell writes:

“I acquired a taste for spicy food at 19 but learned to play spin bowling from about eight. I retain my enjoyment of spicy food to this day and those lessons I was taught as a youngster stood me in good stead as my career progressed, culminating in a few months at finishing school – a tour of India.

To me, it is at a young age that the real problem lies with modern Australian batsmen, and it is here that the roots of their disconnect with playing good spin bowling lie: the coaches overlook the correct footwork fundamentals.

The first things I was told about playing spin bowling were among the most important:

1) Don’t worry about the wicketkeeper when you leave your crease, because if you do it means you are thinking about missing the ball.

2) You might as well be stumped by three yards rather than three inches.

To make a real difference to a spin bowler’s length you have to advance a decent distance, and coming out of your crease only a little generally improves the delivery.”

He added:

“Playing spin bowling well is a state of mind. To succeed, a batsman has to be decisive, look to dominate, have a plan and not fear the turning delivery. Once I learned on the 1969 tour of India that because of the slower nature of the pitches you had a fraction more time than you first thought, and that when the ball turned a long way it provided opportunities for the batsman as well as the bowler, I never again worried about prodigious spin. I was often dismissed but I never again feared the turning ball; I looked upon it as a challenge to be enjoyed.”

What he really meant:

“Eating spicy food requires mouth-work and ability to roll one’s tongue. Playing spin bowling requires footwork and a sharp eye. You can do both because they exercise different body parts. Now, did you get my analogy?”

What he definitely didn’t:

“Spicy chewing gum, anyone?”

PR Sreejesh: What he said, really meant and definitely didn’t

PR Sreejesh does a ‘Psy’ act under the bar.

What he said:

“So yeah, you can term my performance in the final as my `Gangnam act under the bar’.”

Indian hockey goalkeeper and member of the victorious Asian Games squad, PR Sreejesh, is happy with his ‘dance moves‘ during the penalty shootout against Pakistan in the final. The goalie foiled two out of four attempts by their sub-continental arch-rivals.

Sreejesh is a huge fan of the Korean pop star Psy specifically his hit number ‘Gangnam Style‘. The Korean singer-dancer performed at the opening ceremony of the Incheon Games.

Sreejesh said:

 “I like music and love to dance as well. Whenever I travel to practice, I listen to music and this time in Korea I was listening to Psy. I was happy to meet him during the opening ceremony and was inspired by him.”

On playing Pakistan twice:

“We didn’t play well against them in the group stage. So we reflected on our performance in that match and felt that we really need to improve. We didn’t want negativity to creep into our minds and thought positively. The team spirit was excellent. We knew the final would be a tough one and fought as a unit. And that paid dividends.

There is extra motivation to do well against Pakistan. Believe me, I was under no pressure when I went into goal for the shootout. I was 100% sure that I am going to keep the Pakistanis at bay and we are going to win. The team had huge belief in me and they also felt I would do nothing wrong in the shootout.”

On his goalkeeping:

“I can still improve. My goalkeeping has improved considerably when I had short stints with two goalkeeping coaches in the past, Martin Drijver and Dave Staniforth.

I hope we can have a permanent goalkeeping coach. Then not just my performance, the performance of other goalkeepers can also improve.”

What he really meant:

 “You’ve got to be light on your feet and agile both as a goalie and a performer. It’s all about style, Gangnam style.”

What he definitely didn’t:

 “Now if I could only get Psy to co-star with me on ‘India’s Dancing Superstar’ or ‘Zara Nachke Dikha’.”

Kapil Dev Nikhanj: What he said, really meant and definitely didn’t

Kapil Dev Nikhanj

What he said:

“I used to hate England because they ruled my country but I am happy they gave us the game of cricket, which they can’t play very well, and the English language, which I can’t speak very well.”

Kapil Dev Nikhanj cannot resist taking a dig at the English in his acceptance speech. The former Indian skipper was honored with a lifetime achievement award by the Indo-European Business Forum (IEBF) at a ceremony in the House of Lords in London.

The presentation was for his contribution to cricket and  his work in upliftment of poor and destitute communities through the Khushii society.

What he really meant:

“I’m happy we’re free of the British and that we now Lord it over them at the ICC even though we still can’t speak the Queen’s English equally well. I, of course, suffer from short-term memory loss and have forgotten that Team India surrendered the last three Test series.”

What he definitely didn’t but could have:

“It’s time the English relinquished sovereignty over the language as well. There are more English speakers in India than in the whole of UK.” 

Narendra Modi: What he said, really meant and definitely didn’t

Narendra Modi

What he said:

“When our cricketers win a tournament, the entire country celebrates. What the scientists have achieved today, is much greater than that.”

Prime Minister of India, Narendra Modi, makes a pointed reference to the skewed priorities of the Indian public when it comes to celebrating the country’s achievements.

The occasion was India becoming the first country  to send a space craft into Mars’ orbit on its maiden attempt.

What he really meant:

“We need heroes from all spheres and professions—not merely sports and films.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“Now that’s what I’d  term bowling a maiden over!”