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Salman Khan and Aamir Khan are making a new wrestling film together (Satire)


MUMBAI—

Salman Khan is upset and wishes to make amends.
The Bollywood star was apparently taken aback by all the criticism from various quarters—specifically Yogeshwar Dutt and Milkha Singh—at his appointment as goodwill ambassador to the Rio Olympics by the Indian Olympic Association.
Salman has announced that he and Aamir Khan will join forces and make yet another wrestling movie that will depict the stories of Dutt and Sushil Kumar.
The scion of Salim Khan will play Dutt and Aamir will essay the role of Kumar.
“That’s the least we can do for these magnificent real-life wrestling heroes. And I know how painful wrestling is— after Sultan. In fact, we’ll have Dutt and Kumar perform as body doubles for the shooting of this opus.”

The biopic is titled ‘Pehelwano’.

The Great Khali will be making a special appearance in the picture.

Dutt and Kumar are not so happy about Khali’s appearance grumbling that WWE is mere showmanship and wrestling cannot be about jumping up and down and yelling at your opponents. Kumar added that in the WWE anything goes and most fighting happens outside the ring.

The IOA was unavailable for comment.

Disclaimer: While the characters in this story are real, the tale isn’t. But you knew that already, didn’t you?

Salman Khan does not generate enough goodwill as IOA’s brand ambassador (Updated)


English: Indian actor Salman Khan

Indian actor Salman Khan (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Is Salman Khan the right choice as Indian Olympic Association’s Goodwill Ambassador for the 2016 Rio Olympic Games?

The sporting fraternity is divided—-split wide open in fact.

Olympic bronze medalist at the 2012 London Games in the 60 kg freestyle wrestling category Yogeshwar Dutt condemned the move in a series of tweets.

“Can anyone tell me what’s the job of an ambassador? Why are you fooling the nation’s public?”

“You can promote your movie anywhere you like to. You have every right. But the Olympics is not the right place to do so.”

“PT Usha and Milkha Singh have served the country during difficult times. What has this ambassador done?”

“I’m a sportsperson, so I was made an ambassador. I don’t drink liquor nor smoke beedis or cigarettes. Why Salman for the Olympics?”

Milkha Singh who missed a medal by a whisker at the 1964 Rome Olympics in the 400 metres joined Dutt’s criticism saying:

“India has produced so many sportspersons who have given their sweat and blood for the country like PT Usha, Rajyavardhan Singh Rathore, Ajit Pal and so many others. One of these could have been made a goodwill ambassador. What was the need to import a person from Bollywood?”

IOA Vice-president Tarlochan Singh defended the decision.

He said:

“When celebrities who appeal to public come forward to help naturally we get more publicity which is good for sports. Trend among the youth is that they look towards such film celebrities. If we utilise them there’s no harm. We’re getting his ( Salman Khan) help and not giving him anything. IOA is not paying him a penny.”

Sports is entertainment and sports persons are entertainers.

So why can’t entertainers be sporting ambassadors? They can attract more eyeballs and appeal to a wider demographic. Perhaps, women will take much more interest in sports now that actors such as Dharmendra, Abhishek Bacchan, John Abraham, Shah Rukh Khan, Preity Zinta and others are investing in sporting properties such as the IPL, ISL, PWL and others. Isn’t that what the IPL and Big Bash all about—an attempt to attract more women and children, making these games a family outing?

Sports other than cricket can certainly do with the boost and interest generated.

However, the timing of Salman’s appointment is suspect. The Bollywood superstar plays a wrestler in his upcoming movie Sultan. His rival Aamir Khan plays yet another in Dangal.

Was this one-upmanship on Salman’s part cocking a snook at the more thoughtful Khan?

It certainly stinks to high hell.

Salman Khan does not smell of roses given his embroilment in a hit-and-run court case despite being acquitted.

It doesn’t help that Sardar Singh and Mary Kom behaved like star-struck fans at the press conference.

Reel life imitates life—not the other way around. It’s time our sporting heroes realized that.

Pro boxer Vijender Singh disagrees:

“This isn’t about Salman bhai’s upcoming movie Sultan or its promotion. Salman does a lot of movies every year, and he doesn’t need Olympics for it. Like he himself said, he is doing it as a goodwill gesture. And I have no doubt that he is doing this for the better of Indian sports.

So all in all, I feel this is a really positive step for the future of sports in our country. I have no doubt that it will make a difference in terms of getting more people interested in Olympics sports.”

Singh is hardly the best person to comment though. The pugilist is part of Bollywood starring in the Hindi film Fugli. He probably still harbors  filmi aspirations.

English: Vijender Singh at Milind Soman's gym ...

Vijender Singh at Milind Soman’s gym opening (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

At the press conference, the charming Khan said:

“My heroes are Sania Mirza, Vijender Singh, Sushil Kumar in sports. I think wrestling is a very painful sport. I was shooting for my film where I shot for many wrestling sequences. I can act like I am fighting, but I cannot fight like wrestler in real life.”

Scriptwriter Salim Khan supported his son’s selection by taking to Twitter shooting out the following tweets:

(Salim Khan does make a point.

After sports persons, models and film actors are probably the fittest people in this country.

The fitness revolution in the film industry was heralded by the likes of Salman Khan and Sunjay Dutt.

Dutt took to body-building after kicking a drug habit.

The duo were a  sea change from the chocolate heroes Indian womanhood went ga-ga over. It must be said that Salman and Sunjay combined brawn and glossy looks. They are also the perennial bad boys of Bollywood.

Now it’s rare to encounter any newcomer to Bollywood  who does not boast a chiselled physique.

Abhay Deol and Ranbir Kapoor are notable exceptions.

Salman cultivates an image of a fitness icon and a hard drinker. It’s hard to reconcile the two. The man is a contradiction in terms: actor, drunk, Casanova, reckless and foolhardy, philanthropist, singer and painter.

)

Former India opener and Kolkata KnightRiders skipper Gautam Gambhir riposted:

“I heard someone saying sportsmen need publicity or sportsmen need Bollywood, but sportspersons do not need Bollywood or film industry for publicity, it is the other way round.

Movies made on sportspersons do not give them any excitement. They do the job for their country because that’s their passion and they want to do something for the country.”

“(Abhinav) Bindra would have been the ideal choice,” added Gambhir.

Pooja Bhatt too joined issue with Salim Khan about his comments on Milkha Singh and the Indian film industry.

She tweeted:

 

Baichung Bhutia: What he said, really meant and definitely did not


Bhutia Jubiliant after scoring for Mohun Bagan AC

Baichung Bhutia Takes Time Off To Pen His Sporting Views

What he said:

“I’d have been tending to my little children and new club instead of writing this.”

Baichung Bhutia comes out in support of the proposed National Sports Federation bill seeking restricted tenures for administrative heads.

Bhutia’s views were published by the Hindustan Times, the second article in a continuing eight-part series dissembling the issues tackled by the Sports Bill.

Bhutia wrote:

Fifa, despite allegations of corruption, is run more efficiently than sport in India. That means you can’t compare us and them where them also includes the IOC and its tradition of long-serving presidents. The truth is, 64 years after Independence, sport in India is not on the right track. And proof of that lies in the underwhelming international performance of a nation of over 1 billion people.
My point, therefore, is this: the current system of administration has failed and that means there’s something definitely wrong with it. There’s no point saying Brazil’s football isn’t run properly — well, they still win five World Cups and are expected to win one every time it comes along. If we won as many gold as China in Olympics — and they started participating regularly only in 1984 — or even 20 less than them, I’d have been tending to my little children and new club instead of writing this.

The Ajay Maken (India’s sports minister) sponsored bill has been opposed by both the Board For Cricket Control in India (BCCI) and the Indian Olympic Association (IOA).

Bhutia added:

Why not restrict federation presidents to a maximum of 12-year terms and secretaries to eight? If you haven’t been able to make a difference in that time, chances are you never will.

And if you have been a game-changer, I am sure you will be asked to stay and contribute in some capacity even after your term’s over. Making tenures time-bound is also one way of increasing transparency and accountability because you can’t manipulate votes.

What he really meant:

“I care.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“I’m the retiring type, in every aspect.”

Jacques Rogge: ‘Shoe throwing could become an Olympic sport’ (Satire)


IOC President Jacques Rogge with Pierre DeCoub...

LONDON—

Jacques Rogge, President of  the International Olympic Committee has given his backing to shoe-throwing making a bid to become an Olympic sport.

Rogge said he would welcome an application from the International Shoe-Throwers Association (ISTA). If successful, shoe-throwing could feature at the 2020 Olympics.

Shoe-throwing is a recent phenomenon and has gained popularity across the globe in recent times.

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Lalit Modi, Shashi Tharoor short-listed for IOA presidency (Satire)


Université d'été du MEDEF 2007

Following the arrest of Suresh Kalmadi by the Central Bureau of Investigation (CBI), the Indian Olympic Association (IOA) are frantically looking out for a successor to the high profile minister.

Two names have been short-listed.

The first is former IPL commissioner Lalit Modi who is currently in London.

The other name bandied about is former Minister of External Affairs, Shashi Tharoor.

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