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Jacques Rogge: ‘Shoe throwing could become an Olympic sport’ (Satire)


IOC President Jacques Rogge with Pierre DeCoub...

LONDON—

Jacques Rogge, President of  the International Olympic Committee has given his backing to shoe-throwing making a bid to become an Olympic sport.

Rogge said he would welcome an application from the International Shoe-Throwers Association (ISTA). If successful, shoe-throwing could feature at the 2020 Olympics.

Shoe-throwing is a recent phenomenon and has gained popularity across the globe in recent times.

The Indian Olympic Association (IOA) hailed Rogge’s statement.

Acting president , Vijay Kumar Malhotra, said that this would be an opportunity for the country to garner precious medals in a new sport.

“It is also with a sense of pride that we can claim to have inspired shoe-throwers  to greater heights.” said Malhotra, in an obvious reference to Suresh Kalmadi provoking one such incident.

“Shoe-throwing is an international phenomenon and has enthusiastic participants from far-ranging countries such as Iraq and Great Britain.” said Rogge.

India is listed with the most shoe and ‘chappal’ flinging occurrences in recent history.

Malhotra remarked that if the sport is accepted as an Olympic endeavour, it would be a huge boost to the IOA’s chances of prevailing on the Indian government to back a bid for the 2020 Olympics.

Suresh Kalmadi—from Tihar jail—reacted positively to Jacques Rogge’s statement.

“It is a step in the right direction.” said Mr. Kalmadi.

ISTA are in the process of formulating rules and scheduling tournaments to bring the sport to more nations.

“The sport has to be standardised so that participants are aware of the points system. Shoes will be aimed at cardboard cut-outs of prominent politicians and participants  shout out their grievances and abuses at the figure." said Mr. Jhoota Flingwallah, President of ISTA.

It is not known whether there will be separate events for shoes, sandals and slippers.

(All facts and “quotes” are made up, but you knew that already, didn’t you?)


Quote of the day:
The scientific name for an animal that doesn’t either run from or fight its enemies is lunch. – Michael Friedman

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About LINUS FERNANDES

I have been an IT professional with over 12 years professional experience. I'm an B.Sc. in Statistics, M.Sc in Computer Science (University of Mumbai) and an MBA from the Cyprus International Institute of Management. I'm also a finance student and have completed levels I and II of the CFA course. Blogging is a part-time vocation until I land a full-time position. I am also the author of three books, Those Glory Days: Cricket World Cup 2011, Best of Googli Hoogli and Poems: An Anthology, all available on Amazon Worldwide.

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