IPL

N Srinivasan: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

N Srinivasan Is Taken For a Ride

What he said:

We were taken for a ride. I know we cannot plead before you that we did not know all this was happening. Your question would be, were you not vigilant? What did you do? I am sorry, sir, there is no defence for me. No defence in front of you. So, I am not pleading that at all. We just put our heads down.

N Srinivasan, BCCI Secretary and owner of Chennai Super Kings (CSK), claims that he and his colleagues were hoodwinked by ex-IPL commissioner Lalit Modi.

His remarks were made to Parliament’s Standing Committee on finance  when it was discovered that all cheques were signed by Srinivasan—then treasurer— and his successor, MP Pandove.

What he really meant:

“So what if I’m MD of India Cements. Lalit Modi outsmarted us. Believe us, we’re innocents.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“The IPL Governing Council was farcical.”

Sunil Gavaskar: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

What he said:

“Somebody should tell them nobody from Manchester United, Arsenal and Liverpool has come to scout talent here.”

Sunil Gavaskar is not quite thrilled about Indian cricketers getting injured playing soccer rather than in the nets or on the field.

What he really meant:

“It’s the IPL, for Christ’s sake, not the EPL.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“They’re cricketers, they should just focus on cricket. In my heyday, I played tennis, badminton, TT and hockey with a cricket bat.”

Paul Valthaty: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

What he said:

“I am the same Paul that I used to be before IPL.”

Paul Valthaty claims that success in the IPL has not changed him.

What he really meant:

“I’m still Paul.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“The P in IPL stands for Paul.”

Saurav Ganguly: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

 

What he said:

“"I (would) like to play for some more years in IPL. May be after four or five years, I will think about other option.”

Saurav Ganguly would like to continue in the IPL..

What he really meant:

“I’m suffering from brain freeze. Hence, I cannot consider other options.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“I’m forming a brand new IPL. Me ,myself and I are the foremost teams.”

Shahid Afridi asked to seek remedial therapy by PCB (Satire)

KARACHI—

In another blow to Shahid Afridi’s hopes of returning to the Pakistani cricket team, the team management made public a team psychiatrist’s report on the dashing all-rounder.

Mr. Gind Mames, a consulting psychotherapist, said that the former Pakistani ODI skipper is overly influenced by sports persons who have retired from their sport only to return in another attempt to regain youthful glory.

“Afridi is a huge fan of Michael Jordan, Michael Schumacher, Bjorn Borg, Imran Khan,George Foreman and Martina Navratilova, among others.” said Mr. Mames.

Bishan Singh Bedi: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

What he said:

“When the players have been bought like slaves at an auction, they just can’t have rights.”

Bishan Singh Bedi minces no words in taking the BCCI to task for its hypocritical stance on the ‘club versus country’ debate.

What he really meant:

“The IPL is no EPL.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“The BCCI functions democratically and IPL franchisees are democracies.”

Harsha Bhogle: What he said, really meant and definitely did not

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What he said:

“They are trying to be half-hour players; but for that, you’ll need to first be a good four-day player!”

Harsha Bhogle believes that T20 players have to be good at the longer formats first.

What he really meant:

“Longer version players can always adapt to the shorter version of the game. Vice-versa not quite!”

What he definitely didn’t:

“Half-an-hour of T20 and IPL will keep the selectors at bay.”

What he said, really meant and definitely didn’t: Sidhartha Mallya

What he said:

“If you take away the cheergirls, the after-match parties, etc, then there will be no difference between an IPL match and a Ranji Trophy or a Duleep Trophy match.”

Sidhartha Mallya, the prince of Good Times, comments on the recent cheerleaders’ controversy.

What he really meant:

“Glamour, girls and Gayle, that’s what the IPL is all about.”

What  he definitely didn’t:

“Take away the cricketers and we’ll still have an IPL.”

IPL Governing Council adds four games to next year’s IPL (Satire)

MUMBAI—

In response to Pune Warriors India and Kochi Tuskers Kerala’s complaints that they have lost approximately 25% of expected revenue owing to a reduction in the number of games played in the IPL, the governing council decided to increase the number of games by four in next year’s edition.

In addition to the playoffs for the top four spots in the competition, there will be  play-offs for the wooden spoon.

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What he said, really meant and definitely didn’t: Jacob Oram

Image by Dhammika Heenpella / Images of Sri Lanka via Flickr

What he said:

“After nearly every game there’s an after-party, there’s Bollywood stars there and fashion parades; the drinks are free and the cheerleaders are around. It’s a different world. Sometimes you wonder if you’re here for cricket or not. Ultimately you are. It is good fun, but at the same time I don’t think it’s reality."

Jacob Oram describing his hurly-burly life in the IPL.

What he really meant:

“Cricket’s my reality.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“It’s a paid vacation but hush, don’t tell anyone.”