quote of the day

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Pep Guardiola and Jose Mourinho switch sides for Champions League semi-final (Satire)


de: de:José Mourinho - Inter Mailand en: en:Jo...

The Union Of European Football Associations (UEFA) has stepped in to resolve the on-going feud between Real Madrid coach Jose Mourinho and his Barcelona counter-part Pep Guardiola.

In an innovative solution mutually agreeable to both parties, it has been decided that the two coaches will switch sides for the Champions League semi-final, the first leg of which is scheduled  to be played tonight at the Bernabeu.

Real Madrid and Barcelona owners agreed to the swap; the two teams would have to cough up exorbitant fines otherwise.

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Greg Chappell takes over as coach from Bob Houghton (Satire)


India national football team during the 2007 A...

Australian cricket great Greg Chappell has been chosen to replace Englishman Bob Houghton as coach of the Indian soccer team by the All-India Football Federation (AIFF).

Greg Chappell had expressed his desire to return to coaching an Indian team ;the AIFF responded by inviting him to take over the mantle from ousted Houghton.

AIFF general secretary, Kushal Das, said, “We need a coach who is out-spoken, enjoys the confidence of the players and who does not shy away from controversy.”

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Dimitri Mascarenhas selected for game versus Middlesex by SL (Satire)


Dimitri Mascarenhas playing for Hampshire at t... 
 

In a surprise move, Farveez Maharoof and Dimitri Mascarenhas have been named in the Sri Lankan squad that plays Middlesex at Uxbridge from May 14-16, 2011 in the first warm-up game of the tour.

While Maharoof is currently contracted out to Lancashire, the naming of Mascarenhas has come like a ‘bolt out of the blue’.

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Sachin Ramesh Tendulkar scores his 100th ton in book cricket (Satire)


Sachin smiling

The 16th of April, 2011 will remain a red letter day for Sachin Ramesh Tendulkar.

It is the day he scored his 100th international century in book cricket.

The master batsman believes that this is a good omen. All his tons in international cricket have been preceded by equivalent tons in book cricket.

Book cricket is a sport I have indulged in since I was a little boy.” says the Little Master.

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IPL 2011: Of Paul Valthaty, Preity Zinta and professionalism


Who is Paul Valthaty?

Who is this guy, who appears out of nowhere, and single-handedly takes the reigning IPL champions, Chennai Super Kings, to the cleaners?

188 ought to have been good enough—a match-winning total.

But no, Paul “Blazing” Valthaty had other ideas.

Like his Biblical namesake, he rewarded the faith in him with an explosive knock under pressure.

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Shane Warne and Liz Hurley to tie the knot after IPL 2011 (Satire)


Elizabeth Hurley and Valentino Garavani at the...

British actress Elizabeth Hurley and current beau Shane Warne intend to tie the knot soon after IPL 2011—should Warne’s team, Rajasthan Royals, win the tournament.

The blonde leg-spinner led RR to the title in the inaugural edition of the IPL, in 2008.

Liz Hurley is finalising her divorce from Indian businessman Arun Nayar.

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Insuring World Cup events and IPL players , at a price (Humour)


Sachin Tendulkar at Adelaide Oval

Almost all top guns in the IPL have been insured by their respective teams, ranging from Sachin Tendulkar (Rs. 44.97 crores) to Gautam Gambhir (Rs. 11.64 crores).

Wouldn’t it have been a great idea for the ICC to secure insurance cover against original trophies  locked down by bureaucratic Customs officials? The eventualities covered could include embarrassment caused by disclosures that ‘hugged-and-kissed’ trophy is a replica, free World Cup tickets demanded by said officials and sundry miscellaneous damages including loss-of-face.

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Shane Warne is new host of ‘The Week That Wasn’t’ (Satire)


Shane warne sketch

CNN-IBN have announced that for the duration of IPL4, beginning Saturday, 9th April, 2011, their show ‘The Week That Wasn’t’ will not be hosted by Cyrus Broacha.

He will be replaced by ‘Sheik Of Tweak’ Shane Warne.

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Dual sponsorship move in IPL draws criticism


What this means is that teams can now have different sponsors for their home and away games.

What next?

Home and away captains?

The move is a ploy to help teams earn additional revenue.

Soccer teams wear different coloured jerseys for home and away ties.

But different sponsors?

Is the colour of money different when home or away?

Existing sponsors are displeased.

New sponsors might come in only at the expense of current ones. The rumblings against the ad-hoc running of the Indian Premier League resound higher.

The BCCI sure believes that they have to be first—in everything. From the sublime to the ridiculous.

Quote of the day:
A sympathetic Scot summed it all up very neatly in the remark, "You should make a point of trying every experience once, excepting incest and folk dancing." – Sir Arnold Bax

Pune Warriors cheerleaders go ethnic: A job description (Satire)


A Bharatanatyam danseuse

A news report in the Daily News and Analysis (DNA) quotes Subrata Roy, the Sahara Group honcho and Sahara Pune Warriors owner as saying that the team’s cheerleaders will go ethnic and perform Indian classical dances instead of uninhibited western-style cheerleading.

Job-sites Monster.com and Naukri.com have listed advertisements for the said positions in the Pune-based franchise.

Reproduced below is the promoted advert:

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