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IPL2011
Dimitri Mascarenhas selected for game versus Middlesex by SL (Satire)
In a surprise move, Farveez Maharoof and Dimitri Mascarenhas have been named in the Sri Lankan squad that plays Middlesex at Uxbridge from May 14-16, 2011 in the first warm-up game of the tour.
While Maharoof is currently contracted out to Lancashire, the naming of Mascarenhas has come like a ‘bolt out of the blue’.
Bruce Wayne aka Batman sues the BCCI (Satire)
Bruce Wayne aka Batman flew in to Mumbai, the other day on a fact-finding misison.
“Tell me,” he asked the cabbie hailed at Sahar airport, “what is this cricket and IPL all about?”
The cabbie looked at him incredulously.
Liz Hurley and Sakshi Dhoni promote WAGS IPL (Satire)
Quick on the heels of Anjum Chopra’s request to the BCCI to hold an IPL for women cricketers, the premier sports administrative body in the country received another appeal— this time for an IPL constituting wives and girlfriends (WAGS) of cricketers.
The move is spearheaded by Australian spinner Shane Warne’s current love interest, Elizabeth Hurley and MS Dhoni’s wife, Sakshi.
Random cricketing thoughts on the IPL and beyond
The Ducksworth-Lewis method of calculating second-innings totals has come under the scanner.Mahela Jayawardene and Stephen Fleming criticised the system as being ‘unfair’ and not really suited to T20 cricket.
Brickbats are justified since T20 is a racier, pacier form of cricket compared to ODIs, which are in comparison relatively sedate.
Franchise owners, at the IPL auctions, took player availability into account while making their selections. No team wished to have key players missing during the critical part of the tournament.
What they said, meant and definitely didn’t: A B De Villiers
What he said:
“I really can’t pin-point anything that we are doing wrong except for bad fielding, bad bowling and bad batting.”
A.B. De Villiers on the problems with the Royal Challengers Bangalore team.
What he meant:
“We’re not playing cricket, really!”
What he definitely didn’t:“It was a team dare. Can we play worse than the television experts comment? I guess, we did.”
Nita Ambani to utilize Wankhede boxes to host RIL AGMs (Satire)
Reliance Industries and Aditya Birla group will host their annual general meetings (AGMs) and extraordinary general meetings (EGMs) at the newly renovated Wankhede stadium from 2011 onwards.
“For the next 10 years, shareholder meetings will be held at the cricket stadium. You see, Mukesh Ambani wishes to make optimum utilization of his three boxes secured from the Mumbai Cricket Association (MCA).” said Mr. Phanketilal Patel, Mukesh Ambani’s closest chamcha.
The meetings will be conducted at the stadium to ensure that the most people can be accommodated.
What they said and what they definitely didn’t mean: Shane Warne
What he said:
“New Estee Lauder moisturisers for my skin have made a big difference.”
Shane Warne on his new rejuvenated appearance.
What he definitely didn’t mean or say:
“It’s better than using old-fashioned Vaseline on the ball. It’s two for the price of one.”
“They’re actually borrowed from Liz (Hurley). I feel I need it more than her.”
“Estee Lauder have requested me to be their product spokesperson. (At least, not yet.)”
“I can’t say I’m looking older, can I? Never turn away a compliment, my mother always told me.”
Related articles
Winds Of Change: Non-American golf, IPL’s Valthaty, badminton skirts and Rafa season
“The future’s in the air
I can feel it everywhere
Blowing with the wind of change”
Lines from the Scorpions’ ‘Winds Of Change’ come to mind when I ruminate over the past week’s happenings in the world of sport.
The song celebrates the changes in the political clime—the end of the Cold War— and was inspired by the band’s visit to Moscow in 1989.
It was the theme song for the reunification of Germany.
Winds of change are blowing over more than one sport.
Bollywood supports Preity Zinta after Chandigarh airport fracas (Satire)
Bollywood stars have expressed their support and sympathy for Preity Zinta at the treatment meted out to her by Chandigarh airport officials.
The Punjab XI co-owner was asked for her identity papers by a Central Industrial Security Force (CISF) employee.
“The ‘stupid’ security guys just refused to recognise Preity.” said Choky Manday, a male star with a total of zero hits.
IPL 2011: Of Paul Valthaty, Preity Zinta and professionalism
Who is Paul Valthaty?
Who is this guy, who appears out of nowhere, and single-handedly takes the reigning IPL champions, Chennai Super Kings, to the cleaners?
188 ought to have been good enough—a match-winning total.
But no, Paul “Blazing” Valthaty had other ideas.
Like his Biblical namesake, he rewarded the faith in him with an explosive knock under pressure.
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Make Time For Sports. 