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Federica Pellegrini: What she said, really meant and definitely didn’t

English: The Italian swimmer Federica Pellegri...

The Italian swimmer Federica Pellegrini (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Federica Pellegrini changes her telephone number.

What she said:

Good. I have done it..thank-you for your messages of encouragement and congratulations. But obviously I have now changed my number.”

Italian swimmer and former Olympic champion Federica Pellegrini was forced to change her telephone number when she inadvertently revealed her contact details while publishing the results of a random doping test on social networking site Twitter.

Pellegrini was immediately deluged with tweets requesting her to hide her number while others wished to add her to their WhatsApp list of contacts.

After a few hours, Pellegrini responded as above.

What she really meant:

“Changing phone numbers was really easy, folks. The phone company is obviously first on my list of new contacts.”

What she definitely didn’t:

“What’s up with WhatsApp? What’s that, really?”

Mario Balotelli: What he said, really meant and definitely didn’t

Mario Balotelli is gifted a banner.

What he said:

“I have nothing to declare except my genious? Wow thanks to whoever did this. I know all of you expect more from me .. More gols expecially and more “genious” but give me time and I ll show is true.”

What he really meant:

“So what that I’ve scored only once in eight games for Liverpool so far. More such banners = more goals. And my English will get better too. If only goal-scoring were as easy as writing Instagram and Twitter posts.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“Now if only Antonio Conte (Italy’s manager) could read this. He’d soon learn how to appeal to me.”




IPL Governing Council adds four games to next year’s IPL (Satire)


In response to Pune Warriors India and Kochi Tuskers Kerala’s complaints that they have lost approximately 25% of expected revenue owing to a reduction in the number of games played in the IPL, the governing council decided to increase the number of games by four in next year’s edition.

In addition to the playoffs for the top four spots in the competition, there will be  play-offs for the wooden spoon.

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Shane Warne is new host of ‘The Week That Wasn’t’ (Satire)

Shane warne sketch

CNN-IBN have announced that for the duration of IPL4, beginning Saturday, 9th April, 2011, their show ‘The Week That Wasn’t’ will not be hosted by Cyrus Broacha.

He will be replaced by ‘Sheik Of Tweak’ Shane Warne.

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IPL Bytes:Kochi’s demise,Tharoor’s anguish,Modi’s reprieve and domestic salaries

Shashi Tharoor campaigning in Thiruvananthapuram

Image via Wikipedia

The Kochi consortium have no glad tidings for even their most die-hard supporters. The investors in the franchise have struck the death blow ,communicating their inability to work together to the BCCI. The IPL Governing Council meet on November 28, 2010 to perform the last rites. The Gaikwads refused to play ball with the other investors leading to the current impasse.The Kerala Cricket Association (KCA) are the sole believers in a miraculous turnaround.

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Cricketing Bytes: Tendulkar, racism, UDRS and Modi again

Just when you thought that there were no more honours that could be bestowed on Sachin Ramesh Tendulkar, the ICC goes ahead and names him the official event ambassador for the 2011 World Cup.

The master batsman will support and promote a variety of ICC initiatives for the World Cup.This will also be Tendulkar’s sixth World Cup, thus joining Javed Miandad at the top of the heap.

Another South African , former coach Mickey Arthur has joined Herschelles Gibbs in opening up the can of worms that is South African cricket. In his book “Taking The Mickey”, Arthur has revealed that Hashim Amla’s elevation to the SA ODI team was delayed as he was forced to play Loots Bosman instead succumbing to race politics.

Hashim Amla currently tops the ICC ODI rankings. Arthur resigned as coach early this year.

After expressing his unwillingness to use the Umpire Decision Review System (UDRS), India captain MS Dhoni has done a volte face and now come out in support of the system.

Dhoni on Thursday:

"The standard of umpiring has gone down and we need to have strong measures to improve that,"

"But, as I have said earlier, I am not going to buy a life jacket that doesn’t come with a warranty,"

"At times you tend to make mistakes. The umpires are also most of the time thinking about over rates and player behaviour,"

Dhoni also came out in support of struggling Gautam Gambhir ahead of the second Test against New Zealand at Hyderabad on Friday.

Gautam was ICC Test cricketer of the year in 2009.

Meanwhile, Chris Cairns is suing ex-IPL commissioner Lalit Modi for posting a Twitter accusing him of match-fixing .Cairns was withdrawn from the IPL auction this year. The tweet was later retracted but Cairns has taken Modi to court alleging the damage had already been done. Cairns claims that he left the Chandigarh Lions , an ICL team, because of fitness issues after damaging his knees.

You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.

Mae West


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Dhoni’s pressing concerns

Mahendra Singh Dhoni at Adelaide Oval

Image via Wikipedia

Post another inept batting display aided by a slew of umpiring errors, Team India slid to an abysmal loss against the Lankans on Sunday at Dambulla.

However, this article is not going to lament another inconsistent performance by Dhoni’s boys. There is probably enough media coverage of the defeat.Nor am I one of those who like to get down to it as the match progresses or as soon as it finishes.

An interesting sideshow of yesterday’s loss was that MS Dhoni and his boys refused to attend the press conference that immediately follows the match. This caused the print journalists to throw up their arms in frustration  and boycott the press conference.

The captain was ostensibly busy playing football when the scribes frantically tried to contact him. What a s(h)occer!

Quote of the day:
I don’t have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who’d be mad at me for saying that. – Mitch Hedberg

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IPL Musings – II

Shane Warne.

Image via Wikipedia

Now that IPL 3 is finished & done and Chennai Super Kings rule supreme with their name engraved on the (hideous) trophy, a few more thoughts on the IPL and the final:

1> No team has won the title more than once but then we are only in the 3rd edition of the IPL. The final between CSK and Mumbai Indians ensured that there would be a fresh champion once more.

2> The 3rd and 4th place match was a replay of last year’s final with Royal Challengers Bangalore having some semblance of  sweet revenge for last year’s loss to the Chargers, though Kumble might not agree! Bangalore now go onto the T20 Champions Trophy! Just to remind you that none of the IPL teams featured in the semi-finals of last year’s T20 Champions tournament.

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