Make Time For Sports.
satire
Q & A with Novak Djokovic (Humour)
MakeTimeForSports spoke to the men’s No.1 seed before the US Open.
1) The retirement in the final at Cincinnati to Andy Murray was…
Unfortunate. I had shoulder pain. He didn’t.
2) Are you going to be donning a blonde wig again, anytime soon?
You enjoyed that? He he he.
3) Maria Sharapova said she’d prefer it if you were wearing a skirt while mimicking her…
It’s about performance meeting style. My performance, her style. He he he.
4) Maria says she’ll be scripting a commercial too, to get her own back…
The more the merrier…
5) 57-2. Thoughts on that?
64-2 soon. I hope. I’m no machine and certainly not mechanic.
Disclaimer: The interview is fictional but the character(s) are real.
Q & A With Sheila Dikshit
1) The Comptroller and Accountant General (CAG) report indicts you…
No comment. I have yet to receive a copy of the report. Can’t I beautify my beloved Delhi for the CommonWealth Games? Should cost be an issue?
2) But it’s a case of Disappearing Beauty….the potted plants are missing from government offices…
Beauty is temporal, isn’t it? Just proving the old adage.
Mahendra Singh Dhoni: Protector of the “endangered” (Satire)
RANCHI—
In breaking news, it is learnt that India’s cricket captain, Mahendra Singh Dhoni, was approached—jointly—by the West Indian Players Association (WIPA) and the West Indian Cricket Board (WICB) to become the brand ambassador of Caribbean cricket.
The bodies-at-loggerheads—through Dhoni—seek to drive home the message that West Indian cricket is under threat of slow extinction and needs revival to promote continuation of a joyous, carefree brand of island cricket.
Jacques Rogge: ‘Shoe throwing could become an Olympic sport’ (Satire)
LONDON—
Jacques Rogge, President of the International Olympic Committee has given his backing to shoe-throwing making a bid to become an Olympic sport.
Rogge said he would welcome an application from the International Shoe-Throwers Association (ISTA). If successful, shoe-throwing could feature at the 2020 Olympics.
Shoe-throwing is a recent phenomenon and has gained popularity across the globe in recent times.
Bolting Indian Hockey players (Satire)
CHANDIGARH—
The Sports Authority of India (SAI) and Hockey India (HI) have received urgent faxes from the International Association of Athletics Federations (IAAF) and Athletics Federation of India (AFI) requesting access to their training methods.
The appeal follows a report in the Hindustan Times that Indian hockey players are masters of the short sprint, able to cover 10 metres in a minimum time of 1.57 seconds. This beats Usain Bolt’s existing record of 1.89 by a whopping margin.
Shahid Afridi asked to seek remedial therapy by PCB (Satire)
KARACHI—
In another blow to Shahid Afridi’s hopes of returning to the Pakistani cricket team, the team management made public a team psychiatrist’s report on the dashing all-rounder.
Mr. Gind Mames, a consulting psychotherapist, said that the former Pakistani ODI skipper is overly influenced by sports persons who have retired from their sport only to return in another attempt to regain youthful glory.
“Afridi is a huge fan of Michael Jordan, Michael Schumacher, Bjorn Borg, Imran Khan,George Foreman and Martina Navratilova, among others.” said Mr. Mames.
French Open 2011:WTA forms No.1s Anonymous (Satire)
Dinara Safina
PARIS—
The Womens’ Tennis Association (WTA) have sanctioned the forming of a mutual aid society , No. 1s Anonymous (Who Have Never Won A Major), whose primary purpose is to help players stay focused (and No.1) and to help past and present No.1s clinch majors.
The self-help body is co-founded by Caroline Wozniacki, Jelena Jankovic and Dinara Safina.
Club over country: Sachin Tendulkar only cricketer to pass polygraph test (Satire)
MUMBAI—
The “club over country” debate took a controversial fresh turn when the ICC and the BCCI released details of polygraph tests administered to a select bunch of international cricketers participating in the IPL.
Heeding complaints from fans and under intense media pressure and scrutiny, the BCCI roped in the country’s premier investigative agency ,the Central Bureau of Investigation (CBI) , to conduct a series of lie detector tests on certain high-profile players.
Shane Warne replaces Aamir Khan in Dhoom 3 (Satire)
Image via Wikipedia
(“I am getting Bollywood offers.” says Shane Warne.)
MUMBAI—
Shane Warne has been offered the villain’s role in Dhoom3 by Yash Raj films.
The move comes as a surprise as Aamir Khan was initially signed on as the fresh, new villain in the series.
Image via Wikipedia
However, it is learnt that the Khan had a difference of opinion with Aditya Chopra about his role in the movie. He felt that his part was not meaty enough. The part has now gone to a man who has sworn off large portions of red meat.
IPL Governing Council adds four games to next year’s IPL (Satire)
MUMBAI—
In response to Pune Warriors India and Kochi Tuskers Kerala’s complaints that they have lost approximately 25% of expected revenue owing to a reduction in the number of games played in the IPL, the governing council decided to increase the number of games by four in next year’s edition.
In addition to the playoffs for the top four spots in the competition, there will be play-offs for the wooden spoon.
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Make Time For Sports. 