sports

Liz Hurley and Sakshi Dhoni promote WAGS IPL (Satire)

Quick on the heels of Anjum Chopra’s request to the BCCI to hold an IPL for women cricketers, the premier sports administrative body in the country received another appeal— this time for an IPL constituting wives and girlfriends (WAGS) of cricketers.

The move is spearheaded by Australian spinner Shane Warne’s current love interest, Elizabeth Hurley and MS Dhoni’s wife, Sakshi.

Random cricketing thoughts on the IPL and beyond

The Ducksworth-Lewis method of calculating second-innings totals has come under the scanner.Mahela Jayawardene and Stephen Fleming criticised the system as being ‘unfair’ and not really suited to T20 cricket.

Brickbats are justified since T20 is a racier, pacier form of cricket compared to ODIs, which are in comparison relatively sedate.

Franchise owners, at the IPL auctions, took player availability into account while making their selections. No team wished to have key players missing during the critical part of the tournament.

What they said, meant and definitely didn’t: A B De Villiers

What he said:

“I really can’t pin-point anything that we are doing wrong except for bad fielding, bad bowling and bad batting.”

A.B. De Villiers on the problems with the Royal Challengers Bangalore team.

What he meant:

“We’re not playing cricket, really!”

What he definitely didn’t:“It was a team dare. Can we play worse than the television experts comment? I guess, we did.”

You should know: Police bandobast bill

The security arrangements by the Mumbai police for the World Cup matches at Wankhede cost the Mumbai Cricket Association  Rs. 3 crores.

Nita Ambani to utilize Wankhede boxes to host RIL AGMs (Satire)

Reliance Industries and Aditya Birla group will host their annual general meetings (AGMs) and extraordinary general meetings (EGMs)  at the newly renovated Wankhede stadium from 2011 onwards.

“For the next 10 years, shareholder meetings will be held at the cricket stadium. You see, Mukesh Ambani wishes to make optimum utilization of his three boxes secured from the Mumbai Cricket Association (MCA).” said Mr. Phanketilal Patel, Mukesh Ambani’s closest chamcha.

The meetings will be conducted at the stadium to ensure that the most people can be accommodated.

What they said and what they definitely didn’t mean: Shane Warne

What he said:

“New Estee Lauder moisturisers for my skin have made a big difference.”

Shane Warne on his new rejuvenated appearance.

What he definitely didn’t mean or say:

“It’s better than using old-fashioned Vaseline on the ball. It’s two for the price of one.”

“They’re actually borrowed from Liz (Hurley). I feel I need it more than her.”

“Estee Lauder have requested me to be their product spokesperson. (At least, not yet.)”

“I can’t say I’m looking older, can I? Never turn away a compliment, my mother always told me.”

Related articles

Winds Of Change: Non-American golf, IPL’s Valthaty, badminton skirts and Rafa season

“The future’s in the air
I can feel it everywhere
Blowing with the wind of change”

Lines from the Scorpions’ ‘Winds Of Change’ come to mind when I ruminate over the past week’s happenings in the world of sport.

The song celebrates the changes in the political clime—the end of the Cold War— and was inspired by the band’s visit to Moscow in 1989.

It was the theme song for the reunification of Germany.

Winds of change are blowing over more than one sport.

Saina Nehwal talks to Sania Mirza about skirting an issue (Satire)

Sania Mirza woke up late last evening to a call on her mobile.

Ms. Saina Nehwal, India’s ace shuttler, was on the other end.

“Sania didi, I need your help. It’s urgent.”

“Hey Saina, how are you? How’s it going? Congratulations on your Swiss Grand Prix win.”

“Thank you. Thank you very much.”

Continue reading →

Jose Mourinho will stay silent to Real Madrid journalists (Satire)

Jose Mourinho, enfant terrible, has been disciplined for his extraordinary press conference following Real Madrid’s 1-1 draw against Barcelona on April 16, 2011.

The fiery coach completely ignored Madrid journalists and answered questions only from Barcelona-accredited reporters and members of the international press.

Sachin Ramesh Tendulkar scores his 100th ton in book cricket (Satire)

The 16th of April, 2011 will remain a red letter day for Sachin Ramesh Tendulkar.

It is the day he scored his 100th international century in book cricket.

The master batsman believes that this is a good omen. All his tons in international cricket have been preceded by equivalent tons in book cricket.

“Book cricket is a sport I have indulged in since I was a little boy.” says the Little Master.